I've been on a number of incel communities and know guys that even self describe themselves as Incels.
As counterintuitive as it might seem for a lot of people who think they know Incels, I'd say based on my observations. Incels actually really do love women in a sacrificing manner. They're kind of like chivalrous romantics that believe in the true love kind of stuff. The whole feel like I'm incomplete and there's a hole in my heart and a woman's love would fill this void.
Unfortunately, reality tends to hit and regular non-disney fabricated dating dynamics begin to show themselves. Women want money, status, power and use their affection as leverage with men to get that. A lot of Incels simply aren't valuable enough to get the affection they seek from women. This is ultimately what leads to their rage. A sense of being unwanted. And women treat men they don't want exceptionally bad. When men don't like men, men still have a sense of decorum. Women are outright vicious and psychopathic toward men they don't like.
A really good movie to understand Incels is How The Grinch Stole Christmas (2000). I know lots of people recommend The Joker but The Grinch actually shows Incels better. The Grinch was rejected by women and the one woman he did have a crush on used him. He became bitter and jaded and cold. But what saved the Grinch in the end? The kindness of a young girl. That's actually what incels desire more than anything, to be treated with genuine kindness and a sense of desire/belonging from women, especially a woman he himself has an attraction toward. Once the Grinch was shown this kindness he become a good person, the end.
Incels want to be saved in this same manner. And in this desire that often becomes a fixation and obsession, it might not be unimaginable that the Incel decides to become the very woman he desires himself because in doing so he then presumed to fill the void in his heart by becoming the very thing he desires more than anything else. You get that fixated and obsessed you start to become that very thing. Not unimaginable. And also the LGBTQ+ community is very welcoming to anyone, which also adds to it. A regular straight man who is undesirable becomes a loner. A trans guy gains a whole community of people supporting his transition and that sense of desire and belonging he sought starts to be felt. At least, it's an opportunity. If being a straight man didn't work why not try the latest trend of becoming a girl and seeing how it goes?
They're kind of like chivalrous romantics that believe in the true love kind of stuff. The whole feel like I'm incomplete and there's a good in my heart and a woman's love would fill this void.
Story of my life eventually I got over it but at first it was brutal when I realised nothing was true.
I think what makes it the hardest to get over is a lot of the men can imagine the feeling. They know it's a potential feeling. It could be real, in theory. Then they see it in the media they consume as a possibility and society perpetuates the idea that it's real because people when in public or social media often present their relationships as meeting this ideal even if the truth is much different.
I'm convinced this is why so many guys like anime because the anime does a great job of conveying this potential kind of romance men want even better than western media does. Maybe Japan got fed the same sort of fake love BS from the west after they got conquered by the west and then perfected in to a level better than the west even as Japanese often do with these sorts of things. A little side thing but I was just thinking about it.
This aspect is also key to why so many men develop rage toward women. Imagine if what you wanted to make yourself happy was something women could give you but women refused to give it to you. That would make you bitter. What starts off as bitter, annoyance, unhappiness eventually develops into a blinding rage. Just imagine how you would feel if you were starving for food but you saw rich people eating food and the rich people refused to share that food with you? Most people understand this to be mean and thus many poor people might develop rage toward the rich; however, as woman would say, rich people aren't required to give their possessions to poor people. Poor people aren't entitled to food, or are they? And so we have men that might presume they too are entitled to the love they want.
That's why you get movements like MGTOW that try to help men by encouraging men to make their happiness about something other then women but Incels are so captured by women as the key to their happiness, apparently they even decide to become women themselves.
Imagine if what you wanted to make yourself happy was something women could give you but women refused to give it to you.
In my own experience, some of them were unbelievably catty, kind of go out of their way to let you know you are unwanted. Even if I'm at a point now where I'm eligible enough to date, I wouldn't want to be stuck with those types of women. So yeah, I understand how MGTOW and incel feel but I can't really call myself bitter as they are.
And Incels don't want this kind of woman either. That's why a lot of them go for young girls. The pain from the affront they faced from women lingers...
What I mean is, Incels do often pick themselves up to a point where they are "eligible enough to date" but they remembered all the women who mistreated them so when a 35yo washed up, hit the wall, single mother decides to date the Incel, he isn't thinking he hit the jackpot, he's thinking where was this woman when he was 20yo? She was getting dicked by Chad while she would go out of her way to let the 20yo Incel know he was unwanted. This type of insult transcends time in the sense that just because he's now wanted by these 35yo single women, it's not actually good enough. He wants the girl when he first fixated on desiring women, which then brings the guy back to teenage girls or young adults, which also happens to coincide with when women were at their peak in terms of beauty. It's not good enough that women might later in life, after they lose their beauty, decide to settle-down with a previous Incel. That's actually insulting to the Incel. Many women don't realize the long-term consequences (nor will they ever realize because they are women or will they ever care) of hurting these men.
I'll also revert back to How The Grinch Stole Christmas. Remember when the Grinch was first hurt, it was when he was young. The woman who saved the Grinch was also a young girl not a 40yo adult woman. Perhaps coincidence for the movie but serves a purpose for the parallel to Incels. Women who treat these men badly when they were young, only to come back to these men when the men are older and already having established themselves are actually insulting the men and making things worse, ironically, as it just fuels the Ince's rage even further that women only want them after the women gave themselves during their peak beauty years to other men other than them and only decided to want the Incels after the women have lost all their value to the Chads. Rather than come to the Incel humble, the woman comes to him acting like he owes her. This just further damage that has already been done. Only a younger version of the woman can ever heal the wounds or she would need to come from a position of being humble not haughty like most of these women do.
I've been on a number of incel communities and know guys that even self describe themselves as Incels.
As counterintuitive as it might seem for a lot of people who think they know Incels, I'd say based on my observations. Incels actually really do love women in a sacrificing manner. They're kind of like chivalrous romantics that believe in the true love kind of stuff. The whole feel like I'm incomplete and there's a hole in my heart and a woman's love would fill this void.
Unfortunately, reality tends to hit and regular non-disney fabricated dating dynamics begin to show themselves. Women want money, status, power and use their affection as leverage with men to get that. A lot of Incels simply aren't valuable enough to get the affection they seek from women. This is ultimately what leads to their rage. A sense of being unwanted. And women treat men they don't want exceptionally bad. When men don't like men, men still have a sense of decorum. Women are outright vicious and psychopathic toward men they don't like.
A really good movie to understand Incels is How The Grinch Stole Christmas (2000). I know lots of people recommend The Joker but The Grinch actually shows Incels better. The Grinch was rejected by women and the one woman he did have a crush on used him. He became bitter and jaded and cold. But what saved the Grinch in the end? The kindness of a young girl. That's actually what incels desire more than anything, to be treated with genuine kindness and a sense of desire/belonging from women, especially a woman he himself has an attraction toward. Once the Grinch was shown this kindness he become a good person, the end.
Incels want to be saved in this same manner. And in this desire that often becomes a fixation and obsession, it might not be unimaginable that the Incel decides to become the very woman he desires himself because in doing so he then presumed to fill the void in his heart by becoming the very thing he desires more than anything else. You get that fixated and obsessed you start to become that very thing. Not unimaginable. And also the LGBTQ+ community is very welcoming to anyone, which also adds to it. A regular straight man who is undesirable becomes a loner. A trans guy gains a whole community of people supporting his transition and that sense of desire and belonging he sought starts to be felt. At least, it's an opportunity. If being a straight man didn't work why not try the latest trend of becoming a girl and seeing how it goes?
Story of my life eventually I got over it but at first it was brutal when I realised nothing was true.
I think what makes it the hardest to get over is a lot of the men can imagine the feeling. They know it's a potential feeling. It could be real, in theory. Then they see it in the media they consume as a possibility and society perpetuates the idea that it's real because people when in public or social media often present their relationships as meeting this ideal even if the truth is much different.
I'm convinced this is why so many guys like anime because the anime does a great job of conveying this potential kind of romance men want even better than western media does. Maybe Japan got fed the same sort of fake love BS from the west after they got conquered by the west and then perfected in to a level better than the west even as Japanese often do with these sorts of things. A little side thing but I was just thinking about it.
This aspect is also key to why so many men develop rage toward women. Imagine if what you wanted to make yourself happy was something women could give you but women refused to give it to you. That would make you bitter. What starts off as bitter, annoyance, unhappiness eventually develops into a blinding rage. Just imagine how you would feel if you were starving for food but you saw rich people eating food and the rich people refused to share that food with you? Most people understand this to be mean and thus many poor people might develop rage toward the rich; however, as woman would say, rich people aren't required to give their possessions to poor people. Poor people aren't entitled to food, or are they? And so we have men that might presume they too are entitled to the love they want.
That's why you get movements like MGTOW that try to help men by encouraging men to make their happiness about something other then women but Incels are so captured by women as the key to their happiness, apparently they even decide to become women themselves.
In my own experience, some of them were unbelievably catty, kind of go out of their way to let you know you are unwanted. Even if I'm at a point now where I'm eligible enough to date, I wouldn't want to be stuck with those types of women. So yeah, I understand how MGTOW and incel feel but I can't really call myself bitter as they are.
And Incels don't want this kind of woman either. That's why a lot of them go for young girls. The pain from the affront they faced from women lingers...
What I mean is, Incels do often pick themselves up to a point where they are "eligible enough to date" but they remembered all the women who mistreated them so when a 35yo washed up, hit the wall, single mother decides to date the Incel, he isn't thinking he hit the jackpot, he's thinking where was this woman when he was 20yo? She was getting dicked by Chad while she would go out of her way to let the 20yo Incel know he was unwanted. This type of insult transcends time in the sense that just because he's now wanted by these 35yo single women, it's not actually good enough. He wants the girl when he first fixated on desiring women, which then brings the guy back to teenage girls or young adults, which also happens to coincide with when women were at their peak in terms of beauty. It's not good enough that women might later in life, after they lose their beauty, decide to settle-down with a previous Incel. That's actually insulting to the Incel. Many women don't realize the long-term consequences (nor will they ever realize because they are women or will they ever care) of hurting these men.
I'll also revert back to How The Grinch Stole Christmas. Remember when the Grinch was first hurt, it was when he was young. The woman who saved the Grinch was also a young girl not a 40yo adult woman. Perhaps coincidence for the movie but serves a purpose for the parallel to Incels. Women who treat these men badly when they were young, only to come back to these men when the men are older and already having established themselves are actually insulting the men and making things worse, ironically, as it just fuels the Ince's rage even further that women only want them after the women gave themselves during their peak beauty years to other men other than them and only decided to want the Incels after the women have lost all their value to the Chads. Rather than come to the Incel humble, the woman comes to him acting like he owes her. This just further damage that has already been done. Only a younger version of the woman can ever heal the wounds or she would need to come from a position of being humble not haughty like most of these women do.