I'm pretty sure the CRS, RICU, etc. have template forms that they send out to victims of chimp attacks at this point. Just put your dead child's name here, check the boxes next to the phrases you want to put in your totally organic press release ("Don't look back in anger" is a favorite in the agency), and remember that you're under an NDA which you sign here.

I'm pretty sure the CRS, RICU, etc. have boilerplate forms that they send out to victims of chimp attacks at this point. Just put your dead child's name here, check the boxes next to the phrases you want to put in your totally organic press releases ("Don't look back in anger" is a favorite in the agency), and remember that you're under an NDA which you sign here.