I'm nearly 40 so I've been all over the map in this regard. I was married then divorced. I was attending church weekly and not looking at porn or jerking off then making money off women doing sex work.

There was really no "first" but just different attempts to adapt to my situation.

At the end of the day my nature is that I enjoy having sex with beautiful women more than anything else. It's what gives me purpose. Since, I am not attractive enough to have sex with attractive women I tried all sorts of things. I married a not attractive women to settle, thinking it wouldn't matter but that was a mistake. I tried buying attractive women but that didn't really work either as the cost is too great, even for what I make, and the payoff not as rewarding as it ought to be. It's still a constant struggle. I went the devote myself to Jesus path for awhile (2 years ish) kinda like a Roosh V arc but that was also unrewarding for me.

It appears I am most motivated and happiest in life when I'm having sex with beautiful women so that's what I pursue because it's what I enjoy. Some guys like to build trains or play video games but my pass-time is banging hot women. It's just very unfortunate for me that I'm extremely bad at what I love so I end up doing all sorts of degenerate things in an attempt to accomplish what some men can accomplish without resorting to weird adaptations.

I've nearly 40 so I've been all over the map in this regard. I was married then divorced. I was attending church weekly and not looking at porn or jerking off then making money off women doing sex work.

There was really no "first" but just different attempts to adapt to my situation.

At the end of the day my nature is that I enjoy having sex with beautiful women more than anything else. It's what gives me purpose. Since, I am not attractive enough to have sex with attractive women I tried all sorts of things. I married a not attractive women to settle, thinking it wouldn't matter but that was a mistake. I tried buying attractive women but that didn't really work either as the cost is too great, even for what I make, and the payoff not as rewarding as it ought to be. It's still a constant struggle. I went the devote myself to Jesus path for awhile (2 years ish) kinda like a Roosh V arc but that was also unrewarding for me.

It appears I am most motivated and happiest in life when I'm having sex with beautiful women so that's what I pursue because it's what I enjoy. Some guys like to build trains or play video games but my pass-time is banging hot women. It's just very unfortunate for me that I'm extremely bad at what I love so I end up doing all sorts of degenerate things in an attempt to accomplish what some men can accomplish without resorting to weird adaptations.