It borders on being a cultural norm that someone reaches a point in their life where they realize they're not dating and they need to do something about it. I've known multiple girls who reached this point, and of course some guys as well including myself.

The movie Back To The Future has something like this as it's background plot.

In Marty's original timeline his parents are low self esteem and kinda losers. He has to sneak around to spend the weekend with his girlfriend. It's very relatable for a lot of people - their parents, their school, etc tsk tsk at relations with the opposite gender but the successful people do it anyways.

that they define their own self-worth...as being wholly about whether they can get laid

Uh...this seems to be confused with the anti-incel idealogy. This is what incel-mocking cells believe, it's about feeling that men who can't get laid are worthless and if you are getting laid you're superior to them.

I don't think this is the philosophy of incel subs. I didn't spend much time in them because they seemed to me to mostly about training men to stop caring about whether they were getting laid or not in some weird thing about removing their sex drive as a way to control them.

It borders on being a cultural norm that someone reaches a point in their life where they realize they're not dating and they need to do something about it. I've known multiple girls who reached this point, and of course some guys as well including myself.

The movie Back To The Future has something like this as it's background plot.

In Marty's original timeline his parents are low self esteem and kinda losers. He has to sneak around to spend the weekend with his girlfriend. It's very relatable for a lot of people - their parents, their school, etc tsk tsk at relations with the opposite gender but the successful people do it anyways.

that they define their own self-worth...as being wholly about whether they can get laid

I think you're confusing who says this - this is 100% the base philosophy - the entire reason for their existance - of anti-incel subs.

I don't think this is the philosophy of incel subs. I didn't spend much time in them because they seemed to me to mostly about training men to stop caring about whether they were getting laid or not in some weird thing about removing their sex drive as a way to control them.