Motherhood and the culture of misogyny in America are not often explored in tandem. The connection is women’s bodies.
When Amanda Montei became a parent, she struggled with the physicality of caring for children, but even more with the growing lack of autonomy she felt in her personal and professional life. The conditions of modern American parenthood—the lack of paid leave and affordable childcare, the isolation and alienation, the distribution of labor in her home, and the implicit demands of marriage—were not what she had expected.
After #MeToo, however, she began to see a connection between how women were feeling in motherhood and the larger culture of assault in which she had grown up. In American society, women are expected to prioritize their children, often by pushing their bodies to the limit and ignoring their own desires and needs. As she struggled to adjust to the new demands on her body, this stirred memories of being used, violated, and seen by men. She had the desperate urge to finally say no, though she didn’t know how, or to whom she might say it.
Written with the intellectual and emotional precision of writers like Roxane Gay and Leslie Jamison, and drawing on classic feminist thinkers such as bell hooks, Silvia Federici, and Adrienne Rich, as well as on popular culture from The Bachelor to Look Who’s Talking, Montei draws connections between caregiving, consent, reproductive control, and the sacrifices women are expected to make throughout their lives. Exploring the stories we tell about psychology, childbirth, sexuality, the family, the overwhelm mothers feel trying to be “good,” and the tender bonds that form between parent and child, Touched Out delivers a powerful critique of American rape culture and its continuation in the institution of motherhood, and considers what it really means to care in America.
You know, on second thought, I'll admit that I can empathize with some of the kinds of challenges cited here.
Not that I'd likely agree with what kinds of political solutions I'm sure she proposes, but even between a happily married couple the first year of trying to take care of a new baby can be pretty brutal and draining. And I won't deny that mothers do get the brunt of it.
At the same time though, while it's not glaringly obvious in the cited text, I wouldn't be surprised if it parrots a lot of the usual feminist rhetoric that paints anything related to the experience of motherhood as a violent and heinous act committed by men upon them.
Yeah it can be brutal and draining, kind of like... every other necessary activity required to maintain civilization.
At the same time though, while it's not glaringly obvious in the cited text, I wouldn't be surprised if it parrots a lot of the usual feminist rhetoric
What are you talking about lol? It is glaringly obvious. Muh body muh body muh body seen and heard kthnxbai
It was rather late at night and I couldn't be certain I was reading into it accurately.
Plus I was second guessing myself a bit since I was remembering a close friend of mine who's not had the easiest time taking care of a new kid. Not that she really complains much. She actually maintains a rather positive attitude and is very self-motivated.
I think the person who wrote that article also wrote this "masterpiece":
https://archive.is/DFjqy
Archive doesn't include the whole excerpt, so I'll copy and paste it in a followup comment.
You know, on second thought, I'll admit that I can empathize with some of the kinds of challenges cited here.
Not that I'd likely agree with what kinds of political solutions I'm sure she proposes, but even between a happily married couple the first year of trying to take care of a new baby can be pretty brutal and draining. And I won't deny that mothers do get the brunt of it.
At the same time though, while it's not glaringly obvious in the cited text, I wouldn't be surprised if it parrots a lot of the usual feminist rhetoric that paints anything related to the experience of motherhood as a violent and heinous act committed by men upon them.
Yeah it can be brutal and draining, kind of like... every other necessary activity required to maintain civilization.
What are you talking about lol? It is glaringly obvious. Muh body muh body muh body seen and heard kthnxbai
It was rather late at night and I couldn't be certain I was reading into it accurately.
Plus I was second guessing myself a bit since I was remembering a close friend of mine who's not had the easiest time taking care of a new kid. Not that she really complains much. She actually maintains a rather positive attitude and is very self-motivated.
But anyway, my perspective was thrown off a bit.