Do you have kids? I have and sometimes they need to be yelled at. Kids are not that fragile, they test their boundaries all the time and they have very little to no perspective to long term consequences. They also need structure and authority, we are not their friends, we are their parents, we need to force compliance as logic and wisdom will not work.
A small introspect from a close friend of mine, she has a daughter that she treated nice, tried to explain to her when she did bad, talked to her as an adult. The girl is now older, I think 8th grade, and now she blames the mother for her being unhappy and wishes her dead, my friend regularly cries to cope with the abuse she has from her daughter. Her big regret is not spanking her when she was younger.
Yes, raising them via peaceful parenting. They are very frustrating and constantly making me angry. Obviously an infant has to be physically picked up and carried as they have no ability to do otherwise, but even a 2 year old is capable of understanding basic explanations. Sure they might cry and mis behave but that's not them defying you, that's them emotionally upset and needing comfort.
But if they grow up with their first memories of being talked too and reasoned with not told "because I said so" which is fundamentally relying on the fact that they don't have a choice. It tends to build up and get easier as they know that what you say makes sense and that if they disagree, the way to do that is with words not actions/misbehaviour.
I honestly don't agree, I was raised like you describe and I resented it. I look at friends that were raised with strict parents and they all are better adjusted and happier then those that were raised by peaceful parenting. Not only that, I'm looking at what personalities kids that are now 8-10 have in respect to how they are raised.
The ones from strict parents that even smack them every once in a while are better behaved and independent. If you wonder about the independent part, this is because kids will have more confidence in themselves if you enforce a structure that they must conform to. They can go explore and do things with confidence because as long as they follow the rules they are safe.
Kids that don't have an enforced environment are more narcissistic, they expect attention from everyone and they seem more frightful of new environments without a parent figure to mediate.
I do agree that there are extreme cases were parents are actually abusive, but that is not yelling or even spanking. It is an entire different level. Abuse leads to resentment but tough parents do raise faithful and loving children.
This is just my experience in real life and is clouded by my resentment of how I was raised. I expect it also differs from girls to boys and boys need an authority figure more then girls.
Do you have kids? I have and sometimes they need to be yelled at. Kids are not that fragile, they test their boundaries all the time and they have very little to no perspective to long term consequences. They also need structure and authority, we are not their friends, we are their parents, we need to force compliance as logic and wisdom will not work.
A small introspect from a close friend of mine, she has a daughter that she treated nice, tried to explain to her when she did bad, talked to her as an adult. The girl is now older, I think 8th grade, and now she blames the mother for her being unhappy and wishes her dead, my friend regularly cries to cope with the abuse she has from her daughter. Her big regret is not spanking her when she was younger.
Yes, raising them via peaceful parenting. They are very frustrating and constantly making me angry. Obviously an infant has to be physically picked up and carried as they have no ability to do otherwise, but even a 2 year old is capable of understanding basic explanations. Sure they might cry and mis behave but that's not them defying you, that's them emotionally upset and needing comfort. But if they grow up with their first memories of being talked too and reasoned with not told "because I said so" which is fundamentally relying on the fact that they don't have a choice. It tends to build up and get easier as they know that what you say makes sense and that if they disagree, the way to do that is with words not actions/misbehaviour.
I honestly don't agree, I was raised like you describe and I resented it. I look at friends that were raised with strict parents and they all are better adjusted and happier then those that were raised by peaceful parenting. Not only that, I'm looking at what personalities kids that are now 8-10 have in respect to how they are raised. The ones from strict parents that even smack them every once in a while are better behaved and independent. If you wonder about the independent part, this is because kids will have more confidence in themselves if you enforce a structure that they must conform to. They can go explore and do things with confidence because as long as they follow the rules they are safe. Kids that don't have an enforced environment are more narcissistic, they expect attention from everyone and they seem more frightful of new environments without a parent figure to mediate.
I do agree that there are extreme cases were parents are actually abusive, but that is not yelling or even spanking. It is an entire different level. Abuse leads to resentment but tough parents do raise faithful and loving children.
This is just my experience in real life and is clouded by my resentment of how I was raised. I expect it also differs from girls to boys and boys need an authority figure more then girls.