I'm trying to navigate this hellscape of a dating scene- bisexual girl over here, feminist over there... And I can really empathize with them, even though I view the world politically very differently than they do. Thought I might share that view with you all at KIA2.
One suggested I read Roxanne Gay's Bad Feminist, and I opted to at least listen to a summary of the book. And my mind makes connections.
"Reality TV...Rock of Love, relationships defined by flowing alcohol, forced Interactions, vicious conflict, stripper poles..." I don't know about stripper poles, but my brother- Christian, right-wing, 8 years in military+now going to law school- checks all the other boxes. Drinks too much, loves strife and brings it home to his (direct and extended) family, so forceful and insistent on having everything exactly the way he wants, with zero considerations to the wants and needs of others, that on his bookshelf he even has a book titled, "The Little Book on Getting Your Way".
And then..."Rape Culture- Men's Agression and Violence Normalized." I've watched my brother have to apologize to his wife for throwing things... 10 years ago, I watched him punch holes in walls and break down doors in his anger towards me. I've watched him not care for his wife or kids- he got two daughters, but he really wanted a son. He had sex out of wedlock at least once with a girl other than his current wife...But I would guess his actual body count was more than just two. And then, when our father died, he got so drunk he was flirting with other women, as a married man.
And so, I can't help but wonder if it's not """Christian""", right-wing men like my brother driving the feminist movement forward.
I start to see the current political landscape from the lens of men vs. women, with externalizers wrongfully lashing out in anger and impulsively acting on selfish desires, and internalizers, also wrongfully, deeply resenting and seeking vengeance for the harm those externalizers have caused.
And I wonder how we could ever sort out our differences- how to find the third path forward, where, even with greater emotional maturity on the part of both men and women (no externalizing or internalizing), men are seeking wedlock / family / stay-at-home mom's / etc., whereas women are seeking sexual freedom / abortion / homosexuality / one-night stands / etc. How could those differences ever be worked out, without trying to mold others to our liking, without trying to manipulate or control or deceive? (I can imagine someone commenting that women are more malleable... I'm against manipulative, controlling behaviors regardless. Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the like are a scam.)
I'm Christian. And Right-Wing. But I'm not my brother. I don't drink. I haven't been punching holes in walls in fits of rage. I haven't had sex and don't intend to until I get married. I just want to find a wife and start a family.
Where is the path forward, how are Christian, right-wing men to make it through this world, when so many other men also call themselves Christian as they cause destruction and strife and chaos in their wake? Where is the path forward when women have come to hate all that could be good for them- God, men, marriage, family, children, etc.- and love all that will likely be bad for them- abortion, sex out of wedlock, career, LGBT, etc...?
Just a lost soul trying to find his way. Thanks for reading.
For you, I'd say look at church. Assuming it's not a woke church. You have to go to places and do things that naturally gatekeep lefties. It's tough. You're looking for a needle in a haystack. I hope you're young though, because I do think there's still a lot more needles to find. If you live in a big city, you're going to have to seek women outside the city most likely. Then it will be tough, because you're the new city boy in a small town.
I have all but given up on bothering because the older you get the more and more retreads with more and more problems there are. Honestly, if I were to date today I'd probably get up and leave from 75% of the dates in 15 minutes. They say they are bisexual, I'm gone on the spot. Not wasting my time. Batshit crazy indoctrinated women are going to bash you after the fact no matter what anyway.
Never understood men that don't care for their family really. It seems like it's supposed to be instinct to me, but apparently not. I mean I don't have any kids but I'd kill you if you messed with my cousin's kid or my nephews, they are the closest I've got. Maybe the wife makes the whole deal so insufferable that it turns them off of it? Who knows, speculation at best.
I also hate how every social activity revolves around nothing but drinking. I moved to a different state in my mid-20s and it took me forever to build up a friend group, because everything was just "lets go to alcohol selling place and get plastered!" Not fun in the slightest. Most of my friends are family people, but it works out. Yeah I've had to get used to some annoying kids and occasionally suffer through some sort of kid-themed thing, but the package as a whole is way better than "lets meet at the bar, drink, go to the club, drink some more, pass out and wake up with who knows what the hell in our bed". Some of my friends kids have grown up to their 20s now and they are my friends now too.
29...Might not be young enough. And yeah, it feels like I'm looking for a unicorn that doesn't exist- Either I go to church and meet a vaccinated girl with myocarditis...(or just don't really get to know anyone at all there because, you know, we're listening to sermons instead of talking to each other), or I go dancing and meet a feminist, or I hop on VR and meet a bisexual. Everywhere I go the girls seem to be captured by leftists in some shape or form, even churches.
Well I've got more than 10 years on you. So there's that. Don't let someone convince you to quit on their terms that's just something you will regret.
Bear in mind too, all women are going to lean much more left than men. Even ones I know that seem to be good women lean left.
You can definitely still pull at 29 my dude. I'm much older than you and my wife is in her 20s. Trust me, women really don't care about age.
Another thing to keep in mind I guess is that there's probably a fair number of women who are in the same boat, and don't know where the hell they can find some good fishing either.
Just a thought that occurs to me, but maybe try to approach the general goal from a different perspective. Put an emphasis on just meeting people in different walks of life every so often, in different environments. Don't do it with any pressure or specific objectives in mind other than to experience life in new and different ways or something. And in turn, you might end up meeting someone who's at a similar place in life and isn't half-bad.
I think as gamers (for which I assume a good number of people here are), it's easy to get stuck in an objective focused mindset of how to approach things, rather than just experiencing things as they come and seeking out experiences for their own sake.
And I know it sounds pretty vague and hokey. But I guess given the sheer "RNG", there's a better chance at catching something worthwhile by traveling and exploring in wider patterns. (And no, I'm not even remotely suggesting that you or anyone else should start steering into leftist hives or anything like that)
I never feel as much old codger until the topic gets to music. I mean, I have a pretty open category of music I like, going from blues and soul from my grandparents era to recent rock music. This pop stuff now though. Like is literally every song deranged and degenerate? The amount of times I've had to ask my cousin (the one teenager I really interact with), "what the hell is that you are listening to?" is mindblowing. Even the 20 something friends I have aren't that crazy.
I was supposed to go to eastern Europe in 2020, that didn't work out. I'm going to retry it some day. Didn't have Hungary on that trip, but a lot of the surrounding areas, Czech, Slovakia, parts of Poland, etc. I didn't hate the nordics the times I've been there, they will leave you alone but they are more woke in mindset. Would be impossible to pick up women there though with their social habits.
Budapest is a westernized liberal shithole like every other capital, you're not going to find anything you wouldn't in London. Maybe some jokes about gypsies but that's about it. Some of the architecture downtown is really nice, but you're probably looking in the wrong place if you're heading to a nightclub.