found that kids were better off in violent and abusive homes most of the time than just simple single mother homes in terms of future violence and incarceration as well as diagnosed mental illnesses.
Never heard that, almost blew my mind, but the more I think about it, it makes sense in some ways.
Not that there aren't people who succeed from a single-mother household, but there are seemingly so many more stories of people rising from actual abuse in a two-parent household.
This is in no way justifying said abuse, but it does seem like it is, at the very least, possible that it's more likely to rise from an abusive two-parent household, than rise form a household with no dad. Perhaps especially for boys/men, although not having a dad fucks up girls and women too, of course.
It's interesting to think about, if having even an abusive father was better than having an absent one.
I think it requires thinking about things a lot more complexly than most like.
Such as, are men really that fucking psycho so often? Or is the woman making him insane enough to become abusive? Because speaking from my own experience, my mother was never directly "abusive" but she would absolutely push every button she could until you just broke and reacted. Sometimes just as simple as a shove to get her away from you after that 40th little "girl slap" or psychotic screaming accusation while you are trying to sit/sleep that suddenly has the cops coming for Domestic Violence and everyone treating you like a monster forever now, which then strengthens her hold on you as now she is all you have.
I could go on about my personal experience but you get the picture. Its not just a way to blame women for what men do but a way to consider the actions women do that people just don't even note that set the stage for men's actions.
Not to mention getting into the discussion of the eugenical aspect. In that, what kind of man abandons his family entirely, what type of woman sleeps with that man, and what type of woman is crazy enough to turn a regular man into one who abandons his family and what all of those genetics will do in a child.
Its almost certainly not one specific factor, but the raw numbers in the most neutral sense possible paint the picture that having a father at all is better for you no matter how bad he is over single motherhood (barring some extreme exceptions I'm sure). Why that is the case, I can keep going, but that seems to be the case.
I don't, buts its probably not hard to guess a lot more than it should be about the situation as it played out. You have my sympathies brotherman, was a hard hand to be dealt.
Never heard that, almost blew my mind, but the more I think about it, it makes sense in some ways.
Not that there aren't people who succeed from a single-mother household, but there are seemingly so many more stories of people rising from actual abuse in a two-parent household.
This is in no way justifying said abuse, but it does seem like it is, at the very least, possible that it's more likely to rise from an abusive two-parent household, than rise form a household with no dad. Perhaps especially for boys/men, although not having a dad fucks up girls and women too, of course.
It's interesting to think about, if having even an abusive father was better than having an absent one.
I think it requires thinking about things a lot more complexly than most like.
Such as, are men really that fucking psycho so often? Or is the woman making him insane enough to become abusive? Because speaking from my own experience, my mother was never directly "abusive" but she would absolutely push every button she could until you just broke and reacted. Sometimes just as simple as a shove to get her away from you after that 40th little "girl slap" or psychotic screaming accusation while you are trying to sit/sleep that suddenly has the cops coming for Domestic Violence and everyone treating you like a monster forever now, which then strengthens her hold on you as now she is all you have.
I could go on about my personal experience but you get the picture. Its not just a way to blame women for what men do but a way to consider the actions women do that people just don't even note that set the stage for men's actions.
Not to mention getting into the discussion of the eugenical aspect. In that, what kind of man abandons his family entirely, what type of woman sleeps with that man, and what type of woman is crazy enough to turn a regular man into one who abandons his family and what all of those genetics will do in a child.
Its almost certainly not one specific factor, but the raw numbers in the most neutral sense possible paint the picture that having a father at all is better for you no matter how bad he is over single motherhood (barring some extreme exceptions I'm sure). Why that is the case, I can keep going, but that seems to be the case.
Ah, you know my parents?
I don't, buts its probably not hard to guess a lot more than it should be about the situation as it played out. You have my sympathies brotherman, was a hard hand to be dealt.