I figured it would be interesting/ enlightening to hear from users who have found happy relationships in modern society and how they met. I know how much we love to make hating posts on the stupidity of modernity, but posts from guys that have successfully found stable relationships despite the cultural zeitgeist is just as important/ informative.
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The great blindspot of the manosphere is that men also have a best by date if you want a long term healthy relationship.
Your SMV isn't the end all be all, timing is just as, if not more important.
I will never have a childhood best friend I've known for 20 years. Simply because I missed that opportunity, I'm not a child anymore and don't have one, so pursuing it now is futile.
A long term relationship is the same. You have to find a woman who will be with you as an investment, thus who is mature early. You both offer your best years.
If you don't find that early enough you've missed the boat. Exceptions may happen, I couldn't say. But your odds sink to the trench.
Healthy relationships are rare, partially because most of the population are selfish thoughtless morons, incapable of pair bonding without social pressure.
If you are in the category that requires that pressure to find somebody it will work with, tough luck mate. Get a dog
They focus on SMV as if career, looks and status peak in every man's middle age. The problem is, your women who are 21 are not dating 35-40 year olds, they're on average seeking 25-ish old men. When you're at "peak SMV", if you go for young women (men of all ages prefer young women), there will be stigma at such an age gap unless you're rich and don't mind being treated as a sugar daddy in a dead bedroom relationship. That brings me to the next problem.
The manosphere also completely ignores pre-selection and experience. If you've followed their advice and just focused on career, gym and independence until your peak SMV and then enter the dating market, you're now at a disadvantage as pre-selection becomes a far more important factor and your competition has what you have plus relationship experience. It's like going into a job interview lacking work experience, employers are going to pick up on that discrepancy and not offer you the job. In a similar manner, so will women when you demonstrate you lack relationship experience your peers were gaining in their 20s and 30s. And this isn't something you can learn online or at University, you learn it from the school of life and your lack of it can not be faked or lied out of.
The other blindspot is the assumption that all men reach the same peak. Men have different levels of development, limits, ceilings and experience. If you lack these then your peak SMV will be a lot lower. The man who is still a virgin at 35 is not going to have the same SMV as a man who runs a multi-million dollar business and has a string of lovers to his name. The men who are single in their middle age will, unless they meet their unicorn, remain single when they hit retirement. Nature and dating is brutal and only cares about biology, genes and reproduction, not your feelings, emotions or desires.
Feminists share this with the manosphere. An aversion to long term, delayed, or permanent consequences. It's not FAIR that something I want now is impossible because of decisions made in the past. I was a different person back then.
Not how it works.
People here are good at pointing that out for single moms and student debt. But they miss it on other things, like in male dating.
From my perspective, if you haven't met your wife by 23, the chances are not great for it ever happening
I feel the same way. All those articles about men in their 30s somehow being prime material is just coping for a lot of Gen Y/ early millennials. We missed the boat. There is a theory that is why so many people are going hard core on the lgbt/ political parties. A ton of men and women have, instinctively, come to the conclusion they will die alone. And they aren't taking it very well.
Men in their 30s need good jobs, assets, and no debt. That’s like catnip to single women.
I just see single men & women refusing to compromise on anything as they get older. This is a new phenomena.