What the media claim Biden said: "America is indeed a prosperous nation, but we need to ensure there is prosperity for everyone. We must battle against poisonous illiberal notions, and remain resolved with our partners in true international spirit, to establish a peaceful order, and go forthwith to usher an age of enlightenment in the world."

What he really said: "ive got truimnepappsrzurs, and i said those are my leg hairs pal, now whats all this cognatiopabsk - (awkward smile) - shut up and clap you dummies"