there's nothing really stopping her from saying no and telling him to either accept that or they'd part ways.

If this is on the table, then its not abuse. Its a man having insecurities and trying to approach the topic with his partner.

Being weak and going about it the wrong way aren't abuse unless women are so pathetic they don't have the agency to resist anything men say. Which I'm guessing you don't think that is the case, so cheapening abuse that much is just infantilizing women and hurting them even more by telling them they were "abused, thereby traumatized" rather than able to just say No.