Agreed, I'd say in general if a man isn't attractive he has to do the lion's share of any engaging and generally should be wary of unprompted active engagement from women.
Eh, depending on my mood I'd probably say even attractive men should be wary of that. I generally think women who actively pursue are either trying to work an angle or have some sort of underlying issue (e.g., BPD). Unsure of whether that says more about me than them or not and I'd be surprised if there's relevant literature on the topic.
It really does depend on the woman that but I do see your point from a security perspective because you don't know as a guy because it's that rare if they're working some sort of scam. It's a shame really because if women actually wanted to do something to repair gender relations being more forward and an initiator would certainly help. Obviously yeah, if she just chats up guys left and right, probably a slut, but if it's somebody who's genuine and just decides to interact that's a nice thing to experience.
Another factor making things confusing is that there really are no cut-and-dry social norms these days. What is an invitation from one is a sexual harassment allegation from another and the young men receive a torrent of conflicting messages complicating an already complex social environment.
The days of a woman "accidentally" dropping a handkerchief in front of the man she's interested in are long dead and gone.
Oh sure, my point is though it's really rare, which is why when it ever happens to us, the sad thing is, we often remember it very vividly.
Agreed, I'd say in general if a man isn't attractive he has to do the lion's share of any engaging and generally should be wary of unprompted active engagement from women.
Eh, depending on my mood I'd probably say even attractive men should be wary of that. I generally think women who actively pursue are either trying to work an angle or have some sort of underlying issue (e.g., BPD). Unsure of whether that says more about me than them or not and I'd be surprised if there's relevant literature on the topic.
It really does depend on the woman that but I do see your point from a security perspective because you don't know as a guy because it's that rare if they're working some sort of scam. It's a shame really because if women actually wanted to do something to repair gender relations being more forward and an initiator would certainly help. Obviously yeah, if she just chats up guys left and right, probably a slut, but if it's somebody who's genuine and just decides to interact that's a nice thing to experience.
Another factor making things confusing is that there really are no cut-and-dry social norms these days. What is an invitation from one is a sexual harassment allegation from another and the young men receive a torrent of conflicting messages complicating an already complex social environment.
The days of a woman "accidentally" dropping a handkerchief in front of the man she's interested in are long dead and gone.