As someone who is frequently "there", when you get to that point, you're not... Generally thinking of "revenge". You really just want the pain, the suffering, and the struggle to be over.
Like, when I was younger, I used to think about some sort of "revenge" against the people who wronged me, ranging from just doing it somewhere where they would see, to actually taking action against them personally, but then you realise how pointless and futile that would be, how much you would destroy other, unrelated lives, and, if it is more than one person (as for me), how fucking difficult it would be to do that, while also ensuring that you didn't make it out alive, to be subjected to the whims of the state...
Religious beliefs/what you believe the afterlife consists of, if anything, also strongly play into this.
At this point, I would rather just go out on my own terms. Fuck everyone else, including everyone who led me to that point.
And there you have it. Perhaps the darkest comment I have ever written here. :-/
I'm glad you are in a better place now but I got to admit, envisioning doing those things made my felt a whole lot better than being angry the whole time. At least you got a chuckle out of it.
As someone who is frequently "there", when you get to that point, you're not... Generally thinking of "revenge". You really just want the pain, the suffering, and the struggle to be over.
Like, when I was younger, I used to think about some sort of "revenge" against the people who wronged me, ranging from just doing it somewhere where they would see, to actually taking action against them personally, but then you realise how pointless and futile that would be, how much you would destroy other, unrelated lives, and, if it is more than one person (as for me), how fucking difficult it would be to do that, while also ensuring that you didn't make it out alive, to be subjected to the whims of the state...
Religious beliefs/what you believe the afterlife consists of, if anything, also strongly play into this.
At this point, I would rather just go out on my own terms. Fuck everyone else, including everyone who led me to that point.
And there you have it. Perhaps the darkest comment I have ever written here. :-/
I'm glad you are in a better place now but I got to admit, envisioning doing those things made my felt a whole lot better than being angry the whole time. At least you got a chuckle out of it.