It doesn't sound like she regrets the whole thing, only whines that she can't have everything from both worlds without people judging her. Basic women "I shouldn't have to face consequences" behavior.
But then again, her constantly talking about how much money she is making and how many lines she won't cross reeks of cope on many levels. I don't doubt much of this is a double delusion to try and reclaim some legit respect (what little she had before) to make her not spiral into suicide.
Material objects don't bring your spirit peace when they were bought with things you know aren't good. No matter how cool or nice it feels to have three houses, you can't look at yourself the same way again and you have giant glaring weaknesses in your mind that people can pick it easily.
That's why the elite and rich are constantly anxiety stricken messes who crave more and more despite having enough to theoretically bring them infinite peace, happiness and stability for their life. They rarely will commit actual suicide physically, but many will commit it mentally until they are shells of themselves.
Also, its absolute cope from her that she has all that with the way she talks about it. She probably has loans on a house and two "vacation" homes and 10million in "assets" which translates to a very different and worse position.
It doesn't sound like she regrets the whole thing, only whines that she can't have everything from both worlds without people judging her. Basic women "I shouldn't have to face consequences" behavior.
But then again, her constantly talking about how much money she is making and how many lines she won't cross reeks of cope on many levels. I don't doubt much of this is a double delusion to try and reclaim some legit respect (what little she had before) to make her not spiral into suicide.
I know "spiralling into suicide" is, of course, complex, and home ownership isn't viewed in quite this way everywhere, but...
I would probably sell my soul and/or body for an easy $10 million and three houses, in four years. Like, legit...
Sure, what she did is completely immoral and self-destructive, and I'm sure it kills her daily, but whew, that is...
Just shows you how fucked things are, I guess.
But car racing is an expensive "hobby". No wonder she can afford to "go back to it", or at least attempt to, now...
Material objects don't bring your spirit peace when they were bought with things you know aren't good. No matter how cool or nice it feels to have three houses, you can't look at yourself the same way again and you have giant glaring weaknesses in your mind that people can pick it easily.
That's why the elite and rich are constantly anxiety stricken messes who crave more and more despite having enough to theoretically bring them infinite peace, happiness and stability for their life. They rarely will commit actual suicide physically, but many will commit it mentally until they are shells of themselves.
Also, its absolute cope from her that she has all that with the way she talks about it. She probably has loans on a house and two "vacation" homes and 10million in "assets" which translates to a very different and worse position.
Hmm, are we getting ready to grave dance again?