This is, of course, not a new phenomenon. “Bowling Alone” was written decades ago, and that’s like the seminal work on this…
But yeah. For a lot of people here, this probably holds true, in particular for things like online forums or specific gaming “communities”, LAN parties (yeah I know, old school) and the like…
I too, remember those heady days (Halo, mostly, for me. But there was some strategy gaming there, too).
MMORPGs can of course be good, too, but it’s so much more… Controlled, and sanitized, and frankly not the same…
But anyway, I’m more thinking IRL stuff, here.
Tomorrow (Easter Sunday) is the very last day ever for one of the largest community markets in my nearest city. The market has been going for 120 years, and the building it is in is probably at least 70 years old.
The market is pretty much the only weekly outing for many of the older stallholders and attendees, many of whom travel in from surrounding country towns. It is an institution.
Why is it “closing”..? Not because the market is running at a loss. Not because it has “declined”. No, the only reason is because the community entity that owns the site (showground, same as it is in most countries with Ag Shows. Not a private company, but a trust) is so greedy that they want to turf the site over to property developers, to turn into more low-quality, cheap housing, to fill with more (subcontinental and Chinese) immigrants…
Well, that’s what they’re arguing, anyway. In reality, they already sold off much of this (17ha) site, 5-10 years ago, ostensibly for housing and “community benefit”, only for it to be filled with big box retailers…
How is this possible? Because the CEO, effectively, of this trust, is a corrupt former public servant, who has “friends” in both major political parties…
He has been at this for a decade, with “bipartisan support”.
And politically, arguing against housing is a losing sum game, no matter what the true logic behind the development may be…
So the community loses out. Literally over 200 stallholders lose their income source, and the thousands of people, mostly old and/or lower income, who went there to buy stuff they needed, lose out completely. All because of greed, and so-called “progress”…
This happens all the time. All the fucking time. The local council for the area this is in are notoriously corrupt, and have a record of terrible decision-making.
But it’s much more broad than that. I’m sure most of us know of local sports clubs (leftists seem to really, really hate golf, car racing, tennis and rugby league, in particular), markets, bowling alleys, churches, community clubs, whatever, which have been destroyed in a similar way.
In Australia, at least, it’s almost always the same process.
“But don’t worry citizen - go support the local big-league sportsball team! Who cares if tickets are $50 a game - that’s all the community you’re allowed to have!”
Or join this “rally”. Or go to this shiny new store.
Real community, though? Nah, can’t have that. People gathering together and exchanging goods, or even just sharing an interest - that’s too dangerous. Better shut it down. They might get too many “ideas”…
Not sure how much this “phenomenon” exists outside the wealthy, developed West, but I know it’s a thing across many of our countries, not just the Anglosphere…
No wonder people feel so alone, especially the elderly…
You need to get out away from the city for a while, and off the net. Find a job that lets you touch grass, or better yet, requires it. You'll bounce back.
Sadly, I’m kind of stuck with the path I’m on, now…
Can’t withdraw from class, don’t have much money left, no free time…
Leaving my obligations just isn’t really an option, now…
Hopefully in a week’s time I might get a one-day break (yeah, seriously, it’s that bad), but not before that…
Unfortunately this is how this happens.
So while you’re right, it’s just… Never that simple.
Ironically I’m not even really “in the city” right now, anyway.
But this environment isn’t any better. And obligations don’t go away. They just snowball...
You’re right about minimizing “online time”, though.
I guess I’ll just have to keep to “work only”, for a while. But that’s… A big part of the problem, too…
Dunno.
I tried. I really tried. And I thought that double-bereavement and double hospitalization (not for mental health, lol) would be enough to earn me some extensions/recovery time, but that’s just… Not how this works.
In the end, though, I’ve known this has been coming for months. I didn’t just suddenly wake up to this.
This isn’t something “impulsive”. It’s not like that for me. It’s a conclusion that I’ve come to after a very long time, and lots of thought, so…
I guess there’s that, at least.
Thanks for trying, anyway!
I do appreciate it.
Mate, you found out you don't like hot wings, and your friends want to eat hot wings. Just order something else and don't think you need to fit in perfectly to be happy.
I have no idea what you need, but I'd hate to see a friend go.
Thanks for considering me a friend.
I appreciate that. Same to you.
People seem to be under the mistaken impression, though, that this is about Uni…
It’s not about Uni. It’s not about… Life events at the moment.
It’s a life that’s gotten so off track that it’s just…
Proving to be not just impossible to get it back “on track”, but to even get to some sort of sustainable level.
I wasn’t intending to whine - I genuinely just don’t know how much longer I can keep going.
So in case I do come to that conclusion, sooner rather than later, at least I’ve said my piece now.
I no longer care that it, unfortunately, pissed a few people off in the process.
Anyway, I guess I do know what I need, but it just…
Feels unreachable now.
I’m sorry, but it does.
I never claimed to speak for anyone else.
All of this only applies to me.
Anyway mate, I appreciate what you’ve said, so… Know that, at least.
I’m at the point of “making peace” with people and things.
Which is… Well, imagine if it was some other terminal thing - it’s probably easiest to view it as the same as that.
Maybe something will crop up, in this process, to keep me going, but I no longer… Expect that to be the case.
But it’s just a process. Everything is a process.
Anyway mate, I appreciate it. And you. Thanks for being there.
Historically speaking, 'peace' is usually found unwillingly. Not by cheerful pacifist hippies meditating, but by broken bankrupt states at war, forced into it. It doesn't make the peace worth any less.
In the face of the 'end stage despair' you mentioned: try roleplaying as a dead man. Just say 'I'm a dead man' and lie there, let everything die. Actually saying it helps. Imagine what happens to the world with you as an unremarkable dead man, one of many sandwiched by countless other dead men dying yesterday and tomorrow; imagine what happens when all the fears and doubts crushing you no longer have you as their load-bearing point, since you're dead and gone. How worthless they all become.
Then realise you can attain this state without physically dying at all. I'm loosely describing a route to ego death, which I once went through myself at my lowest ebb. I'm very happy to now still be alive, despite not being a penny richer nor more cherished to anyone. It's not required.
The route back to vitality involves purpose, cf somehands10's post, and that's a harder garment to knit, but you need to be alive to start with.
Your consciousness is your weapon. Your masculinity is a treasure, getting rarer by the day in clownworld. Do not give it up needlessly. We'll all be something else, some day, but seconds count. Nobody will celebrate your death but your enemies; only you while alive know how to celebrate your life.
I tried doing the "not studying" thing for the last two years...
Didn't help, unfortunately.
Fundamentally, the problems in my life, and the shit I've been through... Are probably always going to be "too much", no matter how much I change my surroundings...
It's not my financial debts killing me, unfortunately. Not yet, at least...
You are lacking meaning in your life. You've probably already figured that out, but it can't hurt someone else offering the same diagnosis.
You need to find meaning. It's there. I can't tell you want it will be, because it must come from within yourself. But I can tell you that it won't be in a romantic relationship or is unlikely to come from a job.
The good news is this has been a question for men throughout history, so there is much written but many men searching for the same thing. In religious texts, in philosophical texts, in our myths and legends. So the best I can suggest is to search for that meaning in the words of our fathers and their fathers. And in yourself.