This is, of course, not a new phenomenon. “Bowling Alone” was written decades ago, and that’s like the seminal work on this…
But yeah. For a lot of people here, this probably holds true, in particular for things like online forums or specific gaming “communities”, LAN parties (yeah I know, old school) and the like…
I too, remember those heady days (Halo, mostly, for me. But there was some strategy gaming there, too).
MMORPGs can of course be good, too, but it’s so much more… Controlled, and sanitized, and frankly not the same…
But anyway, I’m more thinking IRL stuff, here.
Tomorrow (Easter Sunday) is the very last day ever for one of the largest community markets in my nearest city. The market has been going for 120 years, and the building it is in is probably at least 70 years old.
The market is pretty much the only weekly outing for many of the older stallholders and attendees, many of whom travel in from surrounding country towns. It is an institution.
Why is it “closing”..? Not because the market is running at a loss. Not because it has “declined”. No, the only reason is because the community entity that owns the site (showground, same as it is in most countries with Ag Shows. Not a private company, but a trust) is so greedy that they want to turf the site over to property developers, to turn into more low-quality, cheap housing, to fill with more (subcontinental and Chinese) immigrants…
Well, that’s what they’re arguing, anyway. In reality, they already sold off much of this (17ha) site, 5-10 years ago, ostensibly for housing and “community benefit”, only for it to be filled with big box retailers…
How is this possible? Because the CEO, effectively, of this trust, is a corrupt former public servant, who has “friends” in both major political parties…
He has been at this for a decade, with “bipartisan support”.
And politically, arguing against housing is a losing sum game, no matter what the true logic behind the development may be…
So the community loses out. Literally over 200 stallholders lose their income source, and the thousands of people, mostly old and/or lower income, who went there to buy stuff they needed, lose out completely. All because of greed, and so-called “progress”…
This happens all the time. All the fucking time. The local council for the area this is in are notoriously corrupt, and have a record of terrible decision-making.
But it’s much more broad than that. I’m sure most of us know of local sports clubs (leftists seem to really, really hate golf, car racing, tennis and rugby league, in particular), markets, bowling alleys, churches, community clubs, whatever, which have been destroyed in a similar way.
In Australia, at least, it’s almost always the same process.
“But don’t worry citizen - go support the local big-league sportsball team! Who cares if tickets are $50 a game - that’s all the community you’re allowed to have!”
Or join this “rally”. Or go to this shiny new store.
Real community, though? Nah, can’t have that. People gathering together and exchanging goods, or even just sharing an interest - that’s too dangerous. Better shut it down. They might get too many “ideas”…
Not sure how much this “phenomenon” exists outside the wealthy, developed West, but I know it’s a thing across many of our countries, not just the Anglosphere…
No wonder people feel so alone, especially the elderly…
More personally, I do genuinely think the despair might take me, this time...
Like, if you've seen someone reach "end stage despair" (examples would be Christine Chubbuck, Virigina Woolf, George Sanders, Ian Curtis, Freddy Prinz senior - you can see it in the fucking eyes), I'm pretty much there, now...
No one can predict the future, of course, but if indeed it does come to that, thanks.
Thanks for letting me vent, and express, my shit.
Thanks for reading, and for "listening".
Thanks for attempting to be as non-judgemental as possible.
All the best in the fight, whatever you may be fighting for and against.
Peace.
You need to get out away from the city for a while, and off the net. Find a job that lets you touch grass, or better yet, requires it. You'll bounce back.
Sadly, I’m kind of stuck with the path I’m on, now…
Can’t withdraw from class, don’t have much money left, no free time…
Leaving my obligations just isn’t really an option, now…
Hopefully in a week’s time I might get a one-day break (yeah, seriously, it’s that bad), but not before that…
Unfortunately this is how this happens.
So while you’re right, it’s just… Never that simple.
Ironically I’m not even really “in the city” right now, anyway.
But this environment isn’t any better. And obligations don’t go away. They just snowball...
You’re right about minimizing “online time”, though.
I guess I’ll just have to keep to “work only”, for a while. But that’s… A big part of the problem, too…
Dunno.
I tried. I really tried. And I thought that double-bereavement and double hospitalization (not for mental health, lol) would be enough to earn me some extensions/recovery time, but that’s just… Not how this works.
In the end, though, I’ve known this has been coming for months. I didn’t just suddenly wake up to this.
This isn’t something “impulsive”. It’s not like that for me. It’s a conclusion that I’ve come to after a very long time, and lots of thought, so…
I guess there’s that, at least.
Thanks for trying, anyway!
I do appreciate it.
Mate, you found out you don't like hot wings, and your friends want to eat hot wings. Just order something else and don't think you need to fit in perfectly to be happy.
I have no idea what you need, but I'd hate to see a friend go.
Thanks for considering me a friend.
I appreciate that. Same to you.
People seem to be under the mistaken impression, though, that this is about Uni…
It’s not about Uni. It’s not about… Life events at the moment.
It’s a life that’s gotten so off track that it’s just…
Proving to be not just impossible to get it back “on track”, but to even get to some sort of sustainable level.
I wasn’t intending to whine - I genuinely just don’t know how much longer I can keep going.
So in case I do come to that conclusion, sooner rather than later, at least I’ve said my piece now.
I no longer care that it, unfortunately, pissed a few people off in the process.
Anyway, I guess I do know what I need, but it just…
Feels unreachable now.
I’m sorry, but it does.
I never claimed to speak for anyone else.
All of this only applies to me.
Anyway mate, I appreciate what you’ve said, so… Know that, at least.
I’m at the point of “making peace” with people and things.
Which is… Well, imagine if it was some other terminal thing - it’s probably easiest to view it as the same as that.
Maybe something will crop up, in this process, to keep me going, but I no longer… Expect that to be the case.
But it’s just a process. Everything is a process.
Anyway mate, I appreciate it. And you. Thanks for being there.
I tried doing the "not studying" thing for the last two years...
Didn't help, unfortunately.
Fundamentally, the problems in my life, and the shit I've been through... Are probably always going to be "too much", no matter how much I change my surroundings...
It's not my financial debts killing me, unfortunately. Not yet, at least...
If i don't comment or post again, much, I'll leave you with this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_YHE4Sx-08
Richter, "On the Nature of Daylight". Used in Arrival and Shutter Island, among others.
Incredibly bleak, but very good, too.
So I was borderline suicidal in Medical School, I dropped out and took a trip to east Europe. It was like therapy and let me see there are places that people can still be happy.
This is not a suggestion. Its an order.
Stop complaining and hoping, pack your shit and take a trip Turkey and see what they are up too. East Europe is good too but the war is causing tensions. Also Georgia and Uzbekistan are good. Markets and community are all strong. All this school is part of the Zionist trap to keep you enslaved. Skip a semester and take the trip, it won't cost nearly as much as you think either. It will give you perspective in life.
I’ve already travelled through Turkey, right up to the Armenian border.
So yeah, I did that.
I lived and worked in India for a while, too
Travel is great, and I agree, it definitely opens up your eyes, but I’m just…
It doesn’t change shit man. Not for me.
This where I’m at. People can say whatever they want to that - it fundamentally doesn’t change anything.
Whatever will be will be.
But yeah, I agree that it does give you perspective on things. And I agree about “community” in those places.
I completely don’t deny that at all.
But none of this… Really changes where I’m at.
I’m not sure anything can, now, but myself.
Have you considered trying to find a way to live over there instead of here? Working for a US company remotely or as a freelancer is something a lot of people do now and the pandemic has made it even easier.
It sounds like your life is lacking meaning. i would suggest taking up some hobbies and reading. It helps start moving the mind in a direction.