Thanks man. I hate to get all "metaphorical", but for me, it's like someone drowning in quicksand...

Like, I try to struggle, to fight, to "do better". But then something else terrible happens, and it makes the struggle so much harder.

The false allegations. The death of my grandmother. Getting sick. Getting "let go". Getting injured (enough to spend an entire night in hospital) while doing fieldwork... And then getting refused my prescribed pain medication, at the pharmacy, after all that, because Australia is a fucking joke of a country..

I'm scrambling. Trying to stay afloat. Trying to keep my head above the surface. But for how long? How much more can I take..?

I am very barely holding on. I keep working and working, but the list of obligatory bullshit just to survive doesn't get any shorter.

I can't remember the last time I was truly happy. I can't remember the last time I relaxed. I can't remember the last time someone truly seemed to enjoy my company, for any length of time...

So... While I completely understand the parents thing (believe me), and I would love to "find God", I just... Life is hard, and it keeps getting harder.

For me, there's... Only so much more shit I can handle. I think anyone would struggle with some of this stuff, but when you... Don't have a lot "going for you", it becomes nearly insurmountable.

Sad, of course, but I just... Everyone has their limits. :-/