I'm struggling with this myself. Woman age 30, been with my SO for over 4 years, working together to grow close and become a family. He knew I wanted kids from the start. Four years on, still waiting for a ring... I mentioned finally wanting to have a baby. SO's story changed- he doesn't think he can or will ever be able to support me. I am not some independent career woman, I'm a flaky artist barely making ends meet as is. I can't support myself if I leave him. I have no family that could support me, no close friends, I would definitely have to live out of a car. What am I supposed to do? I am almost out of time. It had already taken me until 26 to find a man with property and a decent income. Honestly not sure I want to even continue to live. This society sucks.
You need to be open and honest with him and set clear as day specific goals. Like tell him that if you aren't engaged by the end of the year, you are gone. In the meantime, you need to work on at least being able to be independent. Pick up a job or skill that will at least allow you to afford renting a room somewhere. Then if he fails to follow through, you leave.
If you reenter the dating world, you need to have your shit together because time is not on your side. You need to date with the intention of marriage and a family. No casual sex on a first date or playing with flakey men. I would suggest trying to meet a guy at church or maybe through the local Young Republicans club or somewhere that you can pre-vet someone's beliefs. Or perhaps be very explicit in your values and beliefs in a dating profile. Dating sucks ass. Dating is even worse when you have a limited amount of time to find someone serious about starting a family.
I'm struggling with this myself. Woman age 30, been with my SO for over 4 years, working together to grow close and become a family. He knew I wanted kids from the start. Four years on, still waiting for a ring... I mentioned finally wanting to have a baby. SO's story changed- he doesn't think he can or will ever be able to support me. I am not some independent career woman, I'm a flaky artist barely making ends meet as is. I can't support myself if I leave him. I have no family that could support me, no close friends, I would definitely have to live out of a car. What am I supposed to do? I am almost out of time. It had already taken me until 26 to find a man with property and a decent income. Honestly not sure I want to even continue to live. This society sucks.
You need to be open and honest with him and set clear as day specific goals. Like tell him that if you aren't engaged by the end of the year, you are gone. In the meantime, you need to work on at least being able to be independent. Pick up a job or skill that will at least allow you to afford renting a room somewhere. Then if he fails to follow through, you leave.
If you reenter the dating world, you need to have your shit together because time is not on your side. You need to date with the intention of marriage and a family. No casual sex on a first date or playing with flakey men. I would suggest trying to meet a guy at church or maybe through the local Young Republicans club or somewhere that you can pre-vet someone's beliefs. Or perhaps be very explicit in your values and beliefs in a dating profile. Dating sucks ass. Dating is even worse when you have a limited amount of time to find someone serious about starting a family.
Nah she shouldn't subject any poor dude at church to her baggage. She needs to get with similarly shitty man