My family is... Not a healthy or happy one. I imagine most people know this by now. Yet, for reasons that I honestly do not understand, my parents are still together. Toxic, painful, continuously arguing, but still together...
The same cannot be said for extended family. Divorces everywhere. A number of children out of wedlock. Painful intergenerational relations on both side. Lots of "not talking". Lost of... Honestly, relationships that are far more negative than they are positive. As the black sheep "loser" of the family, I can't tell you how shit my relationship with nearly all my cousins is, right now. I could, I suppose, blame myself for that, but I really don't think it is that simple...
I actually don't think this is that uncommon, where I live. Sure, most people don't have family quite as toxic as my own, however divorce is utterly ubiquitous. Siblings not getting along is probably more common than not. And honestly, it feels like people almost expect families to behave like this - not communicating, not really talking, and generally... Not behaving like civilised adults. At least amongst the majority "white" population, in addition to the "blak" population (among whom it is most definitely even worse, lol), this is... All too common.
Thoughts? What's it like for you lot, where you live? Do you get along with your extended family? Are you close to them? I realise that I am almost certainly an outlier, where my family are fucking shit, in addition to being the "black sheep loser to end all black sheep losers", but... I'm just curious.
I like the idea that "family is the people you choose to include in it", but I am yet to find my... "One". I'm honestly yet to really find anyone. So I don't have that to have as my "core". I'm sure it's very different for those that do. Unfortunately, though, I'm not sure I will ever even find that...
So yeah. Pretty blackpilled about "family", at the moment, after mounting betrayals, I have to be honest. Would appreciate some... Alternative insights, if your life experience differs in that way.
Yeah I did that.
I now have a back injury because I was put on harder work since my work was higher quality than my peers. Meanwhile the lazy ones get less difficult jobs, and still make the same money as I do.
Cool, so when do I start succeeding? Because right now I'm worse off than when I was a teenager. My life has basically imploded in the last nine months. I've lost my independence, my mojo, my health, and I haven't seen daylight in weeks.
I keep hearing about how you have to fail repeatedly to succeed, but I don't see a light at the end of this tunnel.
No black-pilling.
That sucks, but being higher-quality is not the same as just being given bad tasks. Higher quality involves being that reliable and dependable worker regardless of the specific task. It also involves you understanding that your work should be properly rewarded, and choosing to leave when you are not rewarded properly. It also means not just searching for any job, but making sure you look for jobs and companies with good people as your primary objective. You're interviewing them as much as they are interviewing you.
Do not worry about what other people's lives look like. Mine doesn't look the same as others, and if I spent any more time comparing and contrasting them, I'd be missing the fact that I'm not working on improving my position. Stop giving a shit about how other people did better than you at whatever, for whatever. Your purpose is to improve your life.
Each victory is a success the moment you declare it. You're worrying about some macro level line on a graph about what you think you should have given some abstract demographic information. That's not relevant. Statistics aren't case studies, and you're the case study. Your victories come one day at a time, with each minor success building off one another. You have your goal for the day, if that's too long, then have it for the hour, or the half hour. Set your objective on some immediate thing, address it, recognize your victory, and then set your next objective. The success you're dreaming of is the emergent result of a million smaller continual efforts.
None of those thing are really true. You gave up on your independence, you demoralized your mojo, you abandoned your health, and you didn't go outside. These are not things you actually "lose". You didn't drop your independence and misplace it. You're not asserting the independence you already have. You've actively committed to the demoralization that you think is hurting your 'mojo'. Your health is tarnished because you were demoralized and didn't take care of yourself. You haven't seen the sunlight in weeks because you didn't go outside. You built yourself that prison, no one built it for you. It's your choice to stay in it.
It's got to be nearly daylight right now. Here's your goal for the hour. Go outside and be in the sun. Maybe you're bed-ridden or something. Ask someone to help you go outside. Well, maybe later isn't an option, assert that you need to go outside this hour, because you haven't seen the sun and if you don't get help going outside, then you're going to literally drag yourself through the halls to go outside whether they like it or not. Your victory will be the warmth of the sunlight (which also happens to be a contributor to your health).