Sage Agee is a queer, nonbinary writer living in rural Oregon. Ze spends zeir time raising a small human and making homes for snails.

It's an ugly woman, in a relationship with a man:

Finally, in 2016, I met the person that would eventually become my coparent. I brought up non-monogamy a number of times to him

After a few months of living on the farm as a stay-at-home parent, I had a conversation with my therapist about polyamory. I realized through that conversation how much I had suppressed my desire for a polyamorous life. I daydreamed of having a network of care for both my child and myself that monogamy and the nuclear-family model couldn't offer... So, like many neurodivergent people, I did an endless amount of research.

It always comes back to communism and the destruction of the nuclear family.

In shifting from a mostly monogamous relationship to a polyamorous one, I started to think of myself more as an individual person outside of my romantic relationships.

Yes, when you betray monogamy, suddenly your commitment to your relationship becomes meaningless, and you naturally revert to selfishness, hence why monogamy developed. Monogamy forces people to make compromises and commitments for the sake of their relationship. \

I also was starting to see that allowing myself to address my own needs first was a way of addressing the needs of my relationship, too

^ rationalization for becoming selfish. Putting "your own needs first" is a great way to kill a relationship.

Together, we started to entertain the idea of living separately... The idea of having separate living spaces felt complicated, with a toddler and the social pressure of maintaining the nuclear-family model. But I was already going through my medical gender transition, and queerness disrupted that family structure anyway. We decided that having separate living spaces would be the right decision for us, challenging everything we thought we had to be as a family. My coparent moved into a place in town, which is more convenient for his job, and I stayed in the farmhouse. During this process, I advocated for my own needs in order to foster a safer nest for both myself and my child to thrive.

LOL, so she became selfish and then had the father move out and live separately.

I am still deconstructing compulsory monogamy and internalized shame around my queerness.

So brave.

Poor kid, trapped in this fucked up situation raised by mental illness.

That little "coparenting" relationship isn't going to last. There's no commitment. The only thing keeping them together is fucking and the kid, and I can't imagine the fucking is going to survive her LARPing as a man.

Eventually the dude will meet a normal woman and realize how superior she is, while "zeir" lives her hippie commune life.