I feel like this is very obvious to most people, but is really... Not something we are "allowed" to admit to, at least officially.
It's a very strange time, in this sort of... "Mental health" space. On the one hand we have literally thousands of Tiktok, Instagram, Snapchat and Tumblr posts by edgy teens claiming to have mental issues, whether they actually do or not, and capitalising on that "brand", while on the other hand... The way we actually treat this shit is fundamentally not working...
Look, I appreciate that brain chemistry plays a role in most mental health issues. So does trauma. So does genetics. But the fact that "we", as a society, choose to pretend like depression and anxiety are purely caused by internal problems, and can be treated almost solely as such? That's frankly fucking insane...
The fact that men, in particular, are treated like it is their... Fault, that they are suffering, even if they are poor, even if they have a shit job, or are lonely, or have no friends that they can rely on, or are dealing with... Personal issues from having seen, or experienced, really bad shit... The fact that we say "just go to therapy" or "just take the pill, bro", or "just smoke some weed, bro. It'll help" - frankly it's fucked.
The sheer lack of support in society, to actually... Help people, and do more than just talk. To actually offer practical solutions, and get people truly connected to their society (men's sheds are great and all, but they fundamentally fail to replace what church, and the local sports team, say, once provided), and defeat that... Isolation, that has become the heart of "modern society". That's where the fundamental problems lie, I think. Let alone, say, if you get laid off, or sacked, or lose your position somehow - there is NO support, for most people, when that happens. None at all.
No wonder people fall through the cracks. No wonder we hear about people like Paul Green (rugby league coach - sacked), Jacinda Barclay and Harley Balic (AFL, womens and men's respectively - left out of their team squads during Covid) killing themselves, let alone "ordinary" people who generally have even less support, and certainly considerably less money to play with...
The whole thing is just... Pretty fucked up, frankly. Leftists constantly whine about Catholicism teaching "the flock" to "externalise blame", but now we have a secular society that teaches everyone to, in essence, BOTH externalise and internalise blame, both at the same time, which is... Probably not any healthier, frankly.
I just wish "we", in Current Era, dealt with these things better than we do.
Best recommendations I can make is find a “local watering hole” or something akin to a cigar lounge. You will find far more wisdom and social congruence from these interactions and then you can transplant them into a forum like this. The unique knowledge lost upon the internet is truly insurmountable compared to the unique interactions that develop true original thought.
Oh yeah, I definitely do try to do this.
It's just that many of those "local watering holes" have been taken over by despicable hipsters, with like "vegan sliders" and "organic nonfiltered beer" (no joke)...
I found one that I like, but it was also just kind of... Sad. Every old alcoholic in town (not literally, but a large number) was just sitting there, on their own, and wouldn't even engage in conversation with anyone, me included...
I'll go back there (because it was cozy, and old, and nice, with good drinks), but yeah, it was mostly just... "Sad", frankly.
Most of the other places that people like that would previously have gone to have either closed down, burned down, or been turned into the aforementioned hipster shitholes, replete with, I am not kidding, signs saying "This is stolen land" and "We will only refer to this place by its [made up] Aboriginal name. If you don't like that, you are not welcome."
Weird time to be alive, here...
Hate to hear that, I have been fortunate with the areas I go to having actual males of higher experience and knowledge. My family owns the main cigar lounge where I live and having the social availability of accomplished men is frankly one of the best experiences a young man can prosper from.