I feel like this is very obvious to most people, but is really... Not something we are "allowed" to admit to, at least officially.
It's a very strange time, in this sort of... "Mental health" space. On the one hand we have literally thousands of Tiktok, Instagram, Snapchat and Tumblr posts by edgy teens claiming to have mental issues, whether they actually do or not, and capitalising on that "brand", while on the other hand... The way we actually treat this shit is fundamentally not working...
Look, I appreciate that brain chemistry plays a role in most mental health issues. So does trauma. So does genetics. But the fact that "we", as a society, choose to pretend like depression and anxiety are purely caused by internal problems, and can be treated almost solely as such? That's frankly fucking insane...
The fact that men, in particular, are treated like it is their... Fault, that they are suffering, even if they are poor, even if they have a shit job, or are lonely, or have no friends that they can rely on, or are dealing with... Personal issues from having seen, or experienced, really bad shit... The fact that we say "just go to therapy" or "just take the pill, bro", or "just smoke some weed, bro. It'll help" - frankly it's fucked.
The sheer lack of support in society, to actually... Help people, and do more than just talk. To actually offer practical solutions, and get people truly connected to their society (men's sheds are great and all, but they fundamentally fail to replace what church, and the local sports team, say, once provided), and defeat that... Isolation, that has become the heart of "modern society". That's where the fundamental problems lie, I think. Let alone, say, if you get laid off, or sacked, or lose your position somehow - there is NO support, for most people, when that happens. None at all.
No wonder people fall through the cracks. No wonder we hear about people like Paul Green (rugby league coach - sacked), Jacinda Barclay and Harley Balic (AFL, womens and men's respectively - left out of their team squads during Covid) killing themselves, let alone "ordinary" people who generally have even less support, and certainly considerably less money to play with...
The whole thing is just... Pretty fucked up, frankly. Leftists constantly whine about Catholicism teaching "the flock" to "externalise blame", but now we have a secular society that teaches everyone to, in essence, BOTH externalise and internalise blame, both at the same time, which is... Probably not any healthier, frankly.
I just wish "we", in Current Era, dealt with these things better than we do.
What you are acknowledging is the degradation of community. The internet while bringing mass availability of communication has left the community in a ditch. Like I said before, social media is peak democracy. The community becomes drowned out by the opinions of the world mass, or even bots. However the bots themselves are a symptom of the need to create a unified identity or ideology. One person speaking to another individual can generate a true connection unaltered by social manipulation, this however is made more difficult when an individual is “plugged in” to social media, as their perception is now dictated by the whims of those that wish to manipulate them. This can even be seen in our own forum as we have a moderator and purposeful trolls that seek to undermine legitimate free communication for a broader “acceptable” communication.
Yeah, agreed. Kind of sad I never got to experience any of "adulthood" without social media or smartphones...
Social media was already ubiquitous by my teenage years. Smartphones came around half way through.
I was already a pretty sad individual, but I definitely think social media made my life objectively worse. Haven't really seen that many positive benefits from it, anyway.
It was kind of alright for a while, but fuck has it been terrible for years. Even as a way of "keeping in touch" while being geographically far apart, it's a fucking terrible medium. So yeah, agreed.
Bowling Alone talked about this, even before this current era of "digital isolation", I believe...
In Australia, two massive parts of society, from at least WW1 onwards, have been "community clubs" (ex-servicemen's, worker's clubs, hobby clubs, etc. And the "country womens association", in particular, for women) and local, community sports clubs. Both are dying/being forced to merge to survive, particularly in rural areas. As is the church, of course.
No wonder people feel so isolated. No wonder suicide rates in these places are so high.
People go to Bunnings (big box hardware store) for their "charity sausage sizzle" now, and they buy their raffle/lottery tickets online. They don't bother with their local club.
I was also raised to look down upon that kind of thing (community clubs, local sport). My family is particularly fucking insane, so their warped snobbery was to the extreme, but I can imagine I'm probably not alone in that, at least among "middle class" people, sadly...
The local subreddit for my city actually celebrated, when it was announced that the local workers club (oldest in the country) would be closed, torn down, and turned into housing. They "celebrated" with glee when the local music pub closed down, too. Fucking weirdos...
Best recommendations I can make is find a “local watering hole” or something akin to a cigar lounge. You will find far more wisdom and social congruence from these interactions and then you can transplant them into a forum like this. The unique knowledge lost upon the internet is truly insurmountable compared to the unique interactions that develop true original thought.
Oh yeah, I definitely do try to do this.
It's just that many of those "local watering holes" have been taken over by despicable hipsters, with like "vegan sliders" and "organic nonfiltered beer" (no joke)...
I found one that I like, but it was also just kind of... Sad. Every old alcoholic in town (not literally, but a large number) was just sitting there, on their own, and wouldn't even engage in conversation with anyone, me included...
I'll go back there (because it was cozy, and old, and nice, with good drinks), but yeah, it was mostly just... "Sad", frankly.
Most of the other places that people like that would previously have gone to have either closed down, burned down, or been turned into the aforementioned hipster shitholes, replete with, I am not kidding, signs saying "This is stolen land" and "We will only refer to this place by its [made up] Aboriginal name. If you don't like that, you are not welcome."
Weird time to be alive, here...
Hate to hear that, I have been fortunate with the areas I go to having actual males of higher experience and knowledge. My family owns the main cigar lounge where I live and having the social availability of accomplished men is frankly one of the best experiences a young man can prosper from.
Then cut it out of your life. Find something beneficial to your life from which to get your dopamine hits.
Redditors are retards, regardless of where they're from. It bears no necessary relationship with the place.
Oh, it's still useful, for talking to certain people. I'm not quitting it completely now, lol.
I just use it increasingly sparingly. But with people I want to talk to only accessible to me on it, unfortunately I'm not gonna be cutting it out completely.
Though I do see your point.
I'm not using it for dopamine hits necessarily. More just to, uhh, "keep in touch", despite what I said.
Because that's what they rely on, isn't it? Everyone being on there. Not much I can do about that apart from try to convince people to take the convos elsewhere, unfortunately...
Edit: Reddit is the least useful, for this. So on that much, I agree. Fuck Reddit, lol.
If it's a net negative, there is still a lot of bad stuff you can cut out. Just start with the one you think is worst. I think it would be good for you.
That's how it should be used. But what parts are a net negative?
Agreed.
I assure you, though, I don't really bother "posting", in these places, anymore. As you say, there are better ways to get dopamine hits.
I just use them, as I say, as communication "tools", if shitty ones, because idiots insist that is the way they want to keep in touch. And also because my University mandates that we use both Twitter and Facebook for assignments, unfortunately. But I do try to push people towards more... One on one things, where possible.
And yes, Redditors are retards. Managed to get myself banned from the local subreddit for daring to go against an obviously astroturfed circlejerk (around local development issues, as above), so yeah, I realised that, pretty quick, lol...
lol, what? I'd sue them for privacy violations.
There are various local idiocies like that, but also a global idiocy that disallows you from setting up any community that does respect free speech.