I just want to go ahead and summarize your progression thus far.

First you declared that my wife must just be fat. Then you declared that she's imaginary or a body pillow. Then you tried to say she's not female, and also that her two year old account is a fresh sock puppet.

And now you're saying "yeah but the thweater! We can't thee her tiths!" when she's got an E cup even a sweater can't hide. You're desperate to make something stick, because this kind of thing is out of your reach so you cope by pretending it's not real.

Just take the L dude.