The other day I was at my local comic book store (back issues and dollar bin of course) and since I had nothing to do that day I went over to the table top gaming section and some people playing DnD were taking a break and since I've always wanted to play Dungeons and Dragons or something like it I talked to the Dungeon Master and he was very friendly and let me watch their next session. All this to say it really infuriates me how the whole "toxic nerd" or "toxic fandom" perception has become a reality.
Nerds (not meant as an insult of course since I'm one) have always been a pretty open group if you show an interest in the hobby. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten recommendations in this group, especially with Anime/Manga since I am pretty much a normie in those areas (working my way out of normie status with Anime). Also, there have been numerous times where I've talked someone's ear off because they asked me where to start reading comics of certain characters, what Star Wars EU books they should read, endless discussion about Skyrim lore, Science Fiction books, and the list goes on. Also we all remember online forums in the 90s and early 00's.
I just despise how nerdiness is seen as so horrible now simply because people who have been invested in a book, game, or hobby are demonized when some douchebag takes over the IP and makes unnecessary or pointless changes. Rings of Power being the latest example. Heaven forbid as well if you go into the comments section of a gaming site and have the weird idea that a gaming site is for gaming news/info and not for political diatribes of the journalists.
So, who do you blame most for this? Us nerds for being too friendly and not gate keeping properly? Shills in media? The rise of the fake geek and the trendiness of "nerd stuff" to people who then get jobs in things they don't really care about? People like Anita and Zoe?
Ninja Scroll, Record of Lodoss War, Akira, Vampire Hunter D (though it's apparently impossible to get the original dub and the new one is shitty. The old one was also shitty but still fun.)
Also, basically any '80s anime that made its way to the US is great. The aesthetic was much more varied back then, but still recognizable. Project A-Ko, Appleseed, Space Pirate Cobra, A Wind Called Amnesia, Demon City Shinjuku. Most of the translations are pretty terrible but I honestly don't care. They're fun in an '80s camp way.
As to your original question: women generally just don't like nerds. The ones who claim to be nerds are mostly unbearable attention whores who don't actually have any nerdy interests. Socially, what "women" say about a group is what "society" thinks about the group.
Is this why you see a woman who writes for the Mary Sue get upset because a guy asked her what comic books she reads because she was wearing a super hero shirt or something. She will then go on to describe that as being interrogated.
I’ve seen Akira. That’s really good. First anime I ever saw was Robotech. I’ll check out the others you recommended. Thanks!
You mentioning those anime especially Demon City reminded me of another 80's OVA I saw not long ago on YouTube of all places - Goku: Midnight Eye. It's a mini-series edited into a two-part movie, about a detective in a cyberpunk-esque future, with lots of violence, and nudity and the story is totally goofy... but it's got that AESTHETIC.
The 90s were the turning point to mopey highschool shit and then by the '10s it was pure Tumblr tranny propaganda.