But I also have this crazy notion that since women are allowed to do things like vote and control their lives, they should be held accountable as adults.

Oh absolutely. The point I'm making is that our refusal to hold women accountable changes the incentive structure for the worse, so we get more shitty behavior. Using your ghetto example: If we refuse to prosecute and punish thuggery and gangbanging we get more of it, as the blue shitholes that elect woke prosecutors prove on a daily basis.

In another comment in this thread I pointed out that the norms that the feminists are destroying are incentive structures that encourage good behavior from women. Some of those incentive structures boil down to accountability. A good example of this is when I brought up making single mothers pariahs again in my above comment.