Bloodcurdling reactionary
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My personal conspiracy theory is that Rowling didn't actually write the books.
This is also how I feel.
Did the Earl of Oxford write these too?
Did you ever see that Simpsons episode where they write a book?.
That's how she "wrote" her books. With a team of graduate writers bound by an NDA because they'd never sell anything without the sob story of an "abused woman".