I realise this is a slightly strange thing to ask, on a forum like this, but y'all have a general idea of my... Life experience, and background, by now, and some of you seem to have somewhat decent ideas on these sorts of things, so...
I just dropped out of my courses for this semester. It's after Census date, so I'll have to pay for them (student loans), but it was the last day to withdraw without Academic Failure, so I'll get a couple of big fat "W"'s on my transcript, but it won't tank my GPA any further. So that's something, I guess.
As for why... Look, I was fucking failing, anyway. The Uni had set us students up with the impression that we could do the courses effectively online, for the semester (which would make sense, given lockdowns in several Aus states, including the one bordering the cities my Uni is in), but that most definitely has not proved to be the case.
For the whole semester so far (9 weeks, I believe?), I've been stuck in the wrong fucking state, with shitty internet, a shitty living situation, unable to get back to my classes in person. I've had innumerate other things to deal with, including the fact that my grandfather does not remember who I am, and could well die any day, now, and yet I cannot see him because I am a fucking unvaccinated "plague rat", still...
So yeah. I "dropped out". For now. Until November.
Shit in my life, including this but also far beyond and all around it, is completely and utterly fucked. Sincerely and seriously, I am pretty much at the point of just... Ending it. So yeah.
I'm broke, unemployed, single, unfit, slightly overweight, fairly average looking (but tall, and not hideous), I have a few debts, I'm estranged from most of my friends, I'm extremely lonely, I have very little capital, and few qualifications to speak of (relatively speaking. Let's go with "for my age"). I'm horrifically depressed (anyone know what it's like to find the thought of suicide "calming"..? I've been at that point for nearly a fucking decade), terribly anxious, and probably have ADHD, amongst other things. I'm a fucking wreck. I have cripplingly low self-confidence and self-esteem (more confidence than esteem, though), so I have no trouble telling you that I am a useless piece of shit who probably deserves all the pain, humiliation and failure I have experienced in life. Though I probably don't deserve any more shit, because life has... Already punished me enough, I would have thought.
So, then... What should I do? Where should I start? Hypothetically, if I don't off myself, between now and November, what the fuck should I do?
My country is fucked, remember. Things here are really quite bad. But not where I'm currently stuck (relatively speaking), and not where the Uni is, so much, either (woo for doxxing myself, more and more)...
I genuinely don't think I'm "intellectually" stupid. I'm just an immature, unmotivated, selfish, arrogant jerk, who can't set my mind to things, and gives up far too easily. Because I'm weak. Because I... Don't care enough? I'm not sure.
But anyway, fire away (if you want)! You can go with "just lift, bruh", or "see a therapist, bruh", or "Get your T levels checked, you sound like a weak woman!", if you want, but quite honestly, I would prefer something a bit more in-depth than that.
I'm even open to hearing your religious suggestions, if you really want to go there. Not Buddhism or Islam, though. Fuck that.
Go ahead, the floor's yours. I can't imagine I'll be killing myself for AT LEAST a few more days, so you have at least that long to... Give me some sort of "goal", that I don't already have, or whatever, to try and live for, lol...
This is way above my level of expertise. Still, telling you to contact a therapist will probably land you in gender reassignment because women are like that, taking advantage of broken people for profit or the pleasure of inflicting pain.
I guess that's probably the first thing I'd do in your situation. Get rid of the "better halves" from my life. Don't chase relationships.
Next, you need something to do and feel productive. You could teach yourself how to invest in the markets. A lot of people are doing that. Just don't buy a ton of crypto and Gamestop shares because you'll be on an emotional roller-coaster. I'd advise starting with a practice account with fake money. Other than that..you could try to find a job you can do from home, tutoring or something like that. Pay down your debts quickly to avoid interest, unless they're student loans because those expire after a few years.
As for hobbies - just find something you like. Put political boycotts and agendas to the side until you have the mental state to take the fight again. Even if you really hate EA's wokeness, play FIFA if it makes you feel better, for example.
Some people suffer depression because of a chemical imbalance caused by being unfit, so maybe try to exercise more and see if it helps you?
I think most of your issues come from that creeping feeling that the future can only get bleaker. I feel it too sometimes, and I'm in a relatively good position even if I do get permanently removed from the workplace for being the subhuman unvaxxed.
I think your best bet for the near future is to distance yourself from political news for a while and distract yourself from what's going on as much as possible.
And into the trash it goes.
Do niggers and/or jews next.
Your last comment is literally about me.
Are you the u/Thelmpossible1 that got banned from here for imitating me, that then made the account u/impisafag and got banned again?
Nah. I just browse casually, and your bullshit always stands out. Since mods aren't necessarily faggots around here, I like to take a moment and tell you take that bullshit you're spewing, and fuck yourself with it.
It's funny. For all the "ermagerd muh soggy knees" accusations that get tossed at communities like this by the usual suspects, you're really the standout case of being an actual, true-to-definition bigoted misogynistic fucknugget.
EVERYTHING you say is "women bad, women cause of all evil, women oppressing me and you're all too blind to see it". I don't understand how you can accuse ME of being repetitive with a straight face. Literally ALL YOU TALK ABOUT is how much you hate women. Someone can ask for suggestions on grilling a burger, and you'd run in, frothing at the mouth and screaming "YOUR BARBECUE ISN'T GOING PERFECTLY? IT'S BECAUSE OF FFFFFFFUUUUUUCCCCKKKINNNNGGGG WOMEN".
Your mistake is thinking I care about being called that. It's a badge of honor to be the enemy of little genocidal freaks with a superiority complex. Accepting that "misogyny" exists is fucking weakness.
Do you think they accept misandry exists? That word isn't even in most phone dictionaries. That's how little they accept that their remarks about us are wrong. They don't even recognize a word for it.
I don't believe in attacking their patsies. It's not a coincidence that all the people pushing other division tactics end up with lucrative advertising roles at feminist-leaning businesses.
Take Raheem Sterling, who was the main pusher of kneeling in the English Premier League. For his services to women's cult, he's now P&G's brand ambassador.