We had a lot of overlap, we had the same education, same parents, we were both in to books, games and math and we both had some serious case of anxiety. Where we differed greatly was my mother and grandfather on my father side attention.
For some reason I was left alone while their big focus was my brother. They had this weird way of competing over him. Every time he did something bad in school it was never his fault, he had a problem making friends - it was everyone fault except his.
I was left alone, I liked playing with other kids and had a sentiment of responsibility, more then I should have - I'm guessing that I was noticing how my brother was acting and how he did not make friends and I tried to do the opposite. This also impacted my anxiety, rather then say hey I can't interact properly I would force myself to interact and get out of my comfort zone.
As an idea of how bad the cuddling of my brother was I still call him "poor brother" because that was all I could hear growing up.
Things got better in high school, he was remarkably based by the end.
Then he had problems at work, partly because he would read books instead of working, I'm sure his anxiety did not help under stress and books was how he managed it.
He got married but was not happy, is hard to have a happy wife if you spend all day reading books to escape from reality. The worse it got more he wanted to escape and just read.
He got really fat, cause he spends every free moment reading and drinking Coke.
So now he dreams at a society were he needs no responsibility with work, being a husband, father or personal health.
TLDR: My mom and my grandfather were both type A personalities and fought over him by saying he is perfect and is never his fault. He managed to grow up very dysfunctional because his real issues were never addressed.
I was spared because I was ignored and grew up in opposition of my brother so I managed to correct and deal with my issues.
And what is worse right now is that my brother dumps my nephew to our mom and I've heard her say several times "poor <nephew_name>". It seems that she changed her focus over to him and my brother and sister in law do not care.
And my dad is dead.
We had a lot of overlap, we had the same education, same parents, we were both in to books, games and math and we both had some serious case of anxiety. Where we differed greatly was my mother and grandfather on my father side attention.
For some reason I was left alone while their big focus was my brother. They had this weird way of competing over him. Every time he did something bad in school it was never his fault, he had a problem making friends - it was everyone fault except his.
I was left alone, I liked playing with other kids and had a sentiment of responsibility, more then I should have - I'm guessing that I was noticing how my brother was acting and how he did not make friends and I tried to do the opposite. This also impacted my anxiety, rather then say hey I can't interact properly I would force myself to interact and get out of my comfort zone.
As an idea of how bad the cuddling of my brother was I still call him "poor brother" because that was all I could hear growing up.
Things got better in high school, he was remarkably based by the end.
Then he had problems at work, partly because he would read books instead of working, I'm sure his anxiety did not help under stress and books was how he managed it.
He got married but was not happy, is hard to have a happy wife if you spend all day reading books to escape from reality. The worse it got more he wanted to escape and just read.
He got really fat, cause he spends every free moment reading and drinking Coke. So now he dreams at a society were he needs no responsibility with work, being a husband, father or personal health.
TLDR: My mom and my grandfather were both type A personalities and fought over him by saying he is perfect and is never his fault. He managed to grow up very dysfunctional because his real issues were never addressed. I was spared because I was ignored and grew up in opposition of my brother so I managed to correct and deal with my issues.
And what is worse right now is that my brother dumps my nephew to our mom and I've heard her say several times "poor <nephew_name>". It seems that she changed her focus over to him and my brother and sister in law do not care.
And my dad is dead.