Something I have noticed about a lot of the protests and anger is the idea that the people involved want the power, but not the responsibility. I'll use women as my example, but I have spoken to others. I asked them if they knew all of the responsibilities men grow up with. The idea that paying for a wife and kids seemed kind of foreign and surprising to them. The job is so important to the male psyche that they often look at themselves as their job. So many women have been raised that the man pays for things, they don't understand the concept of balancing a budget, or how much a dinner costs.
I expect some maliciousness, but I also suspect the majority of people who are saying things have honestly never known about the responsibility and identifying with it. They haven't been told, and most people assume they have. The malicious are specifically making sure this information doesn't spread.
I also suspect the reason why is Men were trying to show kindness by praising women and denigrating themselves. This attempt to look at the greatness of the other can be very humble and good. It leads to problems when the reality isn't explained to the women involved.
Have you seen this pattern? What signs and ideas go along with it?
My friend had a funny story about how when he moved out from his parent and into an apartment he used the last of the toilet paper on the roll and went to get another one and no spare rolls of toilet paper existed in his apartment.
His brain was slammed with that surreal unreal feeling that your fundamental existence and reality has changed. That was the moment when he realized that he has to buy toilet paper himself it doesn't just restock itself.
Of logically he knew how things worked but it had never actually happened to him before - up to this point spare rolls of toilet paper were just always around without him needing to do anything, his 5 year old brain was used to it and never had reason to question it.
For women I believe it's similar - they're never in a situation where they're expected to bear the burden of paying for everything for their family and the social pressure that this is what they're supposed to do and they're a failure in life if they don't do it.
Women can understand the bad side of not being able to pay your bills. They have no experience with the dynamic of your entire social group rejecting you as a failed human being because you couldn't pay your families bills.
It's not women alone. It's clearly everyone at this point.
But that story is also why I still believe the situation is easily correctable. Take away the protection systems and people will suddenly realize they need to pay attention and take responsibility. They'll adapt quicker than anyone realizes because they'll finally have all the incentive they need to change.
I think telling them can also help.
I've worked with refugees and immigrants. They made a lot of mistakes because no one was willing to tell them. For example, there are a lot of broken toilets along truck lines because the African trucker doesn't know you have to use the toilet like a chair.
You're not wrong. This is a very common problem I've seen when the west has to build facilities that the rest of the world uses. Most of the world doesn't use toilets. The results can be disastrous.
And obviously telling them is a good first step. It's like a "everyone" sized red-pill.
I think that was the original reason why HR existed. Someone needed to translate between marketing, design, engineering and accounting and the boss was too drunk to care.
It's a common problem. People assume that everyone has lived exactly like them, so it's hard to register the differences. Far worse, it's hard to teach those differences and how to respond. Especially when one side thinks it's helping but hasn't a clue.
That's a good insight. Most people stay at five years old unless corrected in some way or another.
It's true, none of the women I know have known about the societal expectations.