In the last few days, I’ve become really, really Ill with something. Some of you will know of my mental struggles, and that I wasn’t exactly in “peak physical condition” even before this, but this is the sickest I’ve probably ever been,..

Certainly it’s the most medical treatment I’ve had in years, and, by the end, it’ll be just about the second-most time I’ve spent in and out of hospital… It’s fucking terrible. And if certain doctors are right, my quality of life may have just changed, permanently, just like that. Completely randomly…

To put it into perspective, I can barely read this, now, as I write it. I can barely read your posts. I can’t spell, now, and my cognitive… Abilities, are way off. But it’s the sight that most concerns me, and knowing that, if what I have been told is right, my whole life may have just changed…

Consequently, I just don’t… Care. I don’t care about Baldwin. I care about the woman who was called, and the director, but I don’t… Care about pinning down fault. I don’t care that my country has just sacked a cartoonist for criticisong the government. I don’t care that everything is going to shit, in the western world. I’m dying. I just… I don’t have time, or energy, to fight those battles anymore.

So… I’m right here with you, and I support your battles, guys. I support fighting back. But right now, I can barely write a grammatically-correct paragraph, or even just… Function. I can’t work. I can’t drive.

So you have to fight this for me, now. Keep up the fight.

And if this DOES progress, and I, I dunno, decide “Fuck it, I may as well become a Paralympian now”, and I make it to Paris or something, I’ll keep you posted, lol.

Fuck, it physically hurt to type that out on my phone. That’s how sick I am. 😔

RipMe.

Curious. I was born in the mid-90s, so, theoretically, I shouldn’t remember enough to know this, but I do.

I also had a genuinely horrible childhood, in a reasonably isolated part of the Western world, so this ISN’T necessarily just “nostalgia”. Certainly I’m not nostalgic for my childhood. Not in that sense. Though… Adulthood is even lonelier, so who knows, subconsciously…

Anyway, Australia either side of the 2000 Olympics, was a place of significant optimism. Genuinely, I was just a kid, and I could feel it. Pop culture was at its peak. The music scene, in particular live, was excellent. Our “high brow” arts and culture scene had never been better. We still dominated in (mens, mostly) sports, and our film scene was flourishing (MI:2, Matrix Trilogy and Man of Steel were all made in Sydney, amongst a number of others). Children’s entertainment and TV was unbelievably good, as was animation. And guess what, almost none of this was in any way “woke” or PC. Fuck, even the FOOD, drink, restaurant and bar scene was better, which… Should not be the case. But it was…

Politics was less divisive. Far, far less. We had an openly conservative government, and yes, sure, there were issues. I do not agree with many things they did (refugees - Tampa and Children Overboard; indigenous rights; the environment; increasing the US military presence on Aus soil), but we had no idea how good we had it, back then.

Indigenous and non-Indigenous lived, largely, in some sort of relative “harmony”. No reparations, and yes, there were riots (Redfern, later Cronulla), but I went to school with a couple of Aboriginal girls, and, at least in my experience, and what I saw, people were just BETTER to each other, and that was before the woke “Apology to the Stolen Generations”, and before my country started to fall over itself to rename every place, and destroy every element of “white” culture, in the name of appeasement…

Like, in the Y2K, Indigenous AND non-Indigenous came together to celebrate Cathy Freeman winning the 400m. Not because she was an Abo, but because SHE WAS AUSTRALIAN. That would never happen now. Not in the same way. If there even ARE Indigenous sprinters of that caliber anymore. And I honestly don’t see that ever happening again. Not at Brisbane 2032. Perhaps never again.

Things just sort of… Worked. Happiness and life satisfaction levels were higher. People could actually afford to buy houses. Cities hadn’t yet ripped themselves apart to support rampant mass immigration, and our women hadn’t yet declared open slather on our men. And people still attended church, and the synagogue. There were less mosques, but less hate preachers, too. It just felt like… A better time.

No smart phones. Shitty computers. Slower internet. But we still had games like KOTOR, Battlefront 1942 and COD.

People still talked to one another, face to face. I literally lived and went to school with people from all different ethnic origins, from all over the world. And WE GOT ALONG.

Then, things went very wrong. Sometime around 2010-2012, as I was finishing school. Maybe after Occupy. Maybe not. Here, things had already been on the slide since at least the 2007 “Apology”, and the 2005 Cronulla race riots, though…

So, how was it in your country? Do you think it was objectively better, 15+ years ago..? If so, why? What has changed? And what do you think caused it all to go to shit, in such a short period of time?

I know “political correctness” had a wave in the 90s, but I seemingly missed all of that, at the time. Nonetheless, I do genuinely think that things, and society, were better at that time, and, like I said, there are objective measures that would seem to back that up. Which is just… Honestly scary.

This is another fairly personal one.

Anyone following anything I've posted on here in the past will likely have worked out by now that I'm in Australia - in a fairly left-wing part of it, no less.

You'll also probably have noticed that I'm fairly... Fucked up. Depression, anxiety, probably ADHD and OCD, plus abuse and a fairly horrific childhood and adolescence - these things have fucked me up no end, and, contrary to the "happy shit" you see in, say, Pedowood - I can assure you from experience that a lot of people like me DON'T fucking recover, and we never come back from the pits. Some do. Most don't. Which do you really think is the likely end result, for a fuck-up like me..?

Anyway, I think you all know by now that things in Australia are completely fucked. They're getting worse. Continuously. Every fucking day, we lose another "human right", and the totalitarian screws get tighter. I've just learned, today, that thanks to a pronouncement from our state "premier", the equivalent of a US Governor, if I LEAVE this state, say, to go back to my university, I won't be allowed back in, until I'm doubly vaccinated AND test negative to coof. This means that if my grandfather's health declines, which is... Likely, I may not even be able to get back to see him in time, because of the fucking government. I cannot TELL YOU how blackpilling that is, amongst everything else.

Shit here is fucked, and I am so fucking sick of it! Never mind the fact that, without going into too many details, my family pets keep dying, and I keep fucking having to bury them. I spent the last three days burying one. I only adopted him earlier this year. Last I saw, he was healthy and fine. This happens... Every couple of years. And then family members just up and die, too, or someone I know kills themselves. It's... I don't know why the fuck I'm so unlucky, but fuck, death just seems to follow me. If you haven't experienced this yourself, let me tell you - digging a grave for your animals on a regular basis is... Pretty devastating.

Moving on: For the last... While, anger has been what has sustained me. Anger, resentment and hatred. I'm a bitter, jaded person (you would be, too, if you had seen what I have, and experienced what I have), and I fucking detest what my society has become. Clearly, at least "anonymously", I'm very active online, in trying to fight back, and to use that anger... "Constructively". I also use it to motivate exercise, which... Works, but the exercise doesn't... Make the anger go away, at all.

After a while, though, you begin to realise this is a losing battle. Australia is completely fucked. I'm genuinely not sure there is any coming back from this, and I do not think, if I lived much longer, that I would want to do so in this country. It is becoming unrecognisable, and I genuinely fear for the future, here. My own future is gone. That does not matter. But for the country itself... The best outcome is probably Argentina or Chile at their lowest points. Or what, Portugal under Salazar? I seriously don't see an outcome under which Australia stays a democracy, with basic rights for citizens, which is... Scary. And while I have fought back and fought back, pretty hard... I've now realised how futile it is.

My efforts aren't really changing anything. Shit here is sliding, and nothing I do will really change that. But it's more than that. Anger can only sustain you for so long. While my rage can be pretty... Intimidating, I think sadness and loneliness are generally stronger, longer-lasting emotions than anger, and nothing I have done takes that away. So...

I dunno if this is it. I hope the rest of you are able to better "maintain the rage", and fight back in the culture wars in your respective countries. But even if the fight for Australia isn't over; even if there is some hope left for this place - I'm not sure I'll be around to keep on fighting.

I'm pretty done. I've tried. I've fought. I've failed. I just want... Peace, now, and I really... I'm not sure I know of many other ways to find it, unfortunately.

Cheers.

I'm feeling pretty... Blackpilled, at the moment. Maybe even worse than that. Things are bad. Things keep getting worse. Not just politically, but... As a human being. All the failed relationships, all the lost friendships, all the... Shit, that has happened in my life, is sort of getting to me pretty bad.

But more than that, it feels like we're losing. Like things... Are spiralling out of control (in Aus, but also outside it). I literally can't look at ANY popular media, or any sort of news, without being utterly bombarded by it.

So... If you've got a good "whitepill", or just... Something that counteracts all this... Existential angst, and feelings of sheer... Doom, I would appreciate hearing it, I guess. Thanks. While it lasts, and while I last.

I genuinely didn’t know about this until this morning, but my limited understanding is that it will allow college athletes to profit off branding and endorsements, for their name and face, effectively, like professional athletes. This came in from July this year.

Personally, I think this is a terrible decision that will ruin the whole... Function, and spirit, of college sports, and will further the narcissism and “social media obsession” of millennials and zoomers. Everything I’ve seen about it is just... I fucking hate it.

However, I appreciate that a) colleges were making bank out of exactly this, without the money going to the “athletes” directly (can we remember they were meant to be students first, and that was THE WHOLE POINT of sports scholarships, in the first place??!), and b) America... Does this shit differently. Your “peak capitalist” (lol) system, and your... Culture, treats student athletes completely differently to anywhere else in the world. I get that.

Nonetheless, I just think this is a fucking stupid decision. I really do.

Thoughts? Every article and news piece I can find is totally one-sided, supporting this. But... That’s the media for ya. Question everything.

Just a head’s up. Rule 1 and 2 will be used against you. Apparently all the other, ACTUALLY violent, and ACTUALLY racist, shit, is fine, but not that.

So “thanks”, Dom. Being exactly the type of janny we thought you were. 👎

Such fucking bullshit, and you know it.

I mean this in complete seriousness. You all know what's been happening here in the last eighteen months or so, but I think, perhaps, at least, that some of you might not know or understand exactly how we got to this point. Even Sydney Watson, who is Australian, doesn't seem to get it...

Sure, you've got the "muh guns" thing, but there's far more than just that. We've always been more feminist than the US. Literally since Federation. We're more feminist than Britain. I would say we're about 20 years further down that pipeline than you. This is important.

Aboriginals, which are our "Native Americans" are... Not treated in the same way you treat your "injuns". Not for the most part. No, Aboriginals here are very much like Blacks in the US. They behave similarly. They have many of the same issues. And they are fucking WORSHIPPED by leftists, academia, and civil society. Like, as some sort of "ubermensch", who cannot ever be wrong, and who we should bow down before. It's utterly, utterly bizarre, and cannot come from anything other than white guilt.

You know what's worse, though? The one drop rule but woke. It's not full-blooded Aboriginals who we tend to lionize, and treat as our superiors, who we have to change our whole society to fit, it's the white, urban, Aboriginal middle class, who, FFS, are far more privileged than I will ever be. They're the ones who are utterly worshipped by the left, and they are the ones trying to break society apart from within. And guess what? They don't have to PROVE in any way that they are actually "Aboriginal". Just a claim is enough. So it's the perfect grift, really, with all the free money, affirmative action and easy passes that come along with that. It's a fucking rort.

Now, the nanny state: guns, obviously. No protections for free speech. None whatsoever. A culture of state censorship, corporate censorship, "cancel culture" (rife), false accusations, and, perhaps worst of all, "self censorship".

Then there's the bike helmets. The absurd drink driving, bike riding or even fucking "drink walking" laws (0.0 is being pushed). Smoking. Vaping. Anime. Manga. Insane advertising rules. Insane food laws. Ivermectin is now banned. You're literally not allowed to swim at beaches in Summer, below a certain latitude, "just in case". Absurd pet ownership laws. Absurd business restrictions. The whole nefarious shit that is "Responsible Service of Alcohol and Gambling", which EVERYONE in that industry has to go through. Restrictions on CAR ownership, and on disallowing any sort of "car mods", out of the ordinary, never mind the capacity limits on that, too. Oh, and that's without mentioning "social credit systems", "QR code check ins", vaccine passports, control of the internet, and increasingly arbitrary porn bans.

It's so incredibly expensive to live here, too. There is fuck all decent work, and we import vast numbers of foreigners, all the time, to fill the jobs that DO exist, so fat luck getting a job, in most industries, as an Aussie who knows your rights.

Everything is incredibly centralised. The cities are bursting, while everywhere else is falling apart. And that's if you can AFFORD to live in a capital, with the most expensive real estate in the world, but where the only decent jobs are. Best of luck with that, when you're competing against people who own three homes, and foreign (mostly Chinese) investors...

I could go on and on, but you know what I find most alarming, apart from how utterly compliant and quiescent everyone here is (tall poppy syndrome plays a big part in that. Also "fuck you, got mine".)..?

The fact that no one here has the capacity to really fight back. That's one major difference in America - ordinary people can actually have their voices somewhat represented, politically, or they can run for office themselves. Here, if you're not a woke, highly compliant, doubly vaxxed idiot? You won't even get on a local council. Hell, you won't even get IN to the council building. So fat luck in running for state parliament, or federal. It WILL NOT HAPPEN. Which means that when a terrible government or council decision is made, that you know is wrong - can you actually do anything effective to stop it? Lol, fuck no. Of course you can't. "Shut up, citizen. Don't you know that we're doing this for the betterment of society/your own good/the fyoootcha!"

We're not a democracy. I'm not sure we ever were. So please, don't think that Covid "broke us". We've been broken for at least a fucking decade. And I've known that for a long fucking time. However no one here ever admitted to it, and, even now... It's nigh impossible to wake them up from their utterly ridiculous "media stupor". :-(

I realise this is a slightly strange thing to ask, on a forum like this, but y'all have a general idea of my... Life experience, and background, by now, and some of you seem to have somewhat decent ideas on these sorts of things, so...

I just dropped out of my courses for this semester. It's after Census date, so I'll have to pay for them (student loans), but it was the last day to withdraw without Academic Failure, so I'll get a couple of big fat "W"'s on my transcript, but it won't tank my GPA any further. So that's something, I guess.

As for why... Look, I was fucking failing, anyway. The Uni had set us students up with the impression that we could do the courses effectively online, for the semester (which would make sense, given lockdowns in several Aus states, including the one bordering the cities my Uni is in), but that most definitely has not proved to be the case.

For the whole semester so far (9 weeks, I believe?), I've been stuck in the wrong fucking state, with shitty internet, a shitty living situation, unable to get back to my classes in person. I've had innumerate other things to deal with, including the fact that my grandfather does not remember who I am, and could well die any day, now, and yet I cannot see him because I am a fucking unvaccinated "plague rat", still...

So yeah. I "dropped out". For now. Until November.

Shit in my life, including this but also far beyond and all around it, is completely and utterly fucked. Sincerely and seriously, I am pretty much at the point of just... Ending it. So yeah.

I'm broke, unemployed, single, unfit, slightly overweight, fairly average looking (but tall, and not hideous), I have a few debts, I'm estranged from most of my friends, I'm extremely lonely, I have very little capital, and few qualifications to speak of (relatively speaking. Let's go with "for my age"). I'm horrifically depressed (anyone know what it's like to find the thought of suicide "calming"..? I've been at that point for nearly a fucking decade), terribly anxious, and probably have ADHD, amongst other things. I'm a fucking wreck. I have cripplingly low self-confidence and self-esteem (more confidence than esteem, though), so I have no trouble telling you that I am a useless piece of shit who probably deserves all the pain, humiliation and failure I have experienced in life. Though I probably don't deserve any more shit, because life has... Already punished me enough, I would have thought.

So, then... What should I do? Where should I start? Hypothetically, if I don't off myself, between now and November, what the fuck should I do?

My country is fucked, remember. Things here are really quite bad. But not where I'm currently stuck (relatively speaking), and not where the Uni is, so much, either (woo for doxxing myself, more and more)...

I genuinely don't think I'm "intellectually" stupid. I'm just an immature, unmotivated, selfish, arrogant jerk, who can't set my mind to things, and gives up far too easily. Because I'm weak. Because I... Don't care enough? I'm not sure.

But anyway, fire away (if you want)! You can go with "just lift, bruh", or "see a therapist, bruh", or "Get your T levels checked, you sound like a weak woman!", if you want, but quite honestly, I would prefer something a bit more in-depth than that.

I'm even open to hearing your religious suggestions, if you really want to go there. Not Buddhism or Islam, though. Fuck that.

Go ahead, the floor's yours. I can't imagine I'll be killing myself for AT LEAST a few more days, so you have at least that long to... Give me some sort of "goal", that I don't already have, or whatever, to try and live for, lol...

I say this with a degree of self-awareness, that I personally think that what Biden did in Afghanistan was utterly, utterly shameful, and that Trump's "peace deal" with the Taliban was almost equally pathetic, and worth less than the paper it was printed on. I say this also as someone who believes that Australia needs to stand up to China, and should, at present, have a functional navy, and defence force in general. However...

Yesterday, Australia announced that it intends to rip up a contract to build French, non-nuclear subs, and will instead (probably, at some point in the future, but we have to pay now, lol) build nuclear subs, based on a US or British design. This is an incredibly stupid, almost patently insane decision, that could well end up costing tens of billions more dollars than if we had just gone with the French, or with Japanese subs as THIS SAME GOVERNMENT proposed, under a different leader, less than a decade ago.

This also seems like a pretty absurd decision, politically. Nuclear doesn't fly, with people in Aus. My state literally will not allow these submarines to dock, if they ever get built. Nor will NZ. So... It seems like political suicide. The only "saving grace", and why this decision was probably actually made, is that they can be "built" in Adelaide, using parts made in the US (this won't actually happen, but bear with me), meaning ship-building "jobs" in a country that otherwise decimated that industry, and therefore, perhaps, some votes for these morons currently clinging to power...

Right, so all that aside, on to the disturbing bit: leftist cheerleaders, both in the media, and on Reddit, saying how "wonderful" this all is, and how it will allow us to "show it" to China, and, I dunno "scare" them, or some bullshit? These same fuckheads are cheering for the US to literally build more bases in Aus, and want us to become nuclear-armed. I'm not kidding. I saw that on r/Australia today.

I can't tell you how fucking bizarre that is. But it's not the first time I've seen this sentiment. These are the same people who cheered on the Libya debacle, and the same lot who wanted the Syrian and Iraqi war on ISIS/the rebels to drag on longer, to suit whatever agenda they may have had. That's without mentioning how they feel about the fucking Afghan debacle...

I just... Can't, with these people. Regardless of your view on subs, this whole thing stinks, and it is so very, very apparent that these people who claim to care so much about "human rights" or "the environment" only do so as long as the mainstream media (particularly their beloved guardian, and public broadcasters) tells them to feel that way, and will happily switch to promoting literal warmongers and statist tyrants, as soon as the wind blows that way...

Is this the same in the US and elsewhere, with your "leftists" or "liberals"..? Are they also good little bootlicking warmongers, when it suits them? Because even just a glimpse at Stupidpol or Breadtube would fucking suggest so, consequences be damned, and hypocrisy be damned. None of them EVER sign up to be the ones going off and fighting, though, I may add. They don't even fire the fucking missiles, or order the drone strike. But they'll happily cheer it on, until it becomes clear that civilians were the ones slaughtered, at which point the outrage and screaming becomes their default...

I mean, just look at how they turned on Assange, guys, as soon as he no longer suited their politics/aims. Even fucking AUSTRALIANS, the country where the guy is literally from!!!

I'm so done, peeps. Fuck leftists. Fuck "liberals", both small and large L, in Aus and Canada. Fuck statists. Fuck (increasingly petty) tyrants. Fuck warmongers. Fuck the military-industrial complex (Eisenhower was very, very right). And finally fuck this stupid, corrupt, pathetic country that I literally cannot leave. :-(