posted ago by bamboozler1 ago by bamboozler1 +49 / -3

This is another fairly personal one.

Anyone following anything I've posted on here in the past will likely have worked out by now that I'm in Australia - in a fairly left-wing part of it, no less.

You'll also probably have noticed that I'm fairly... Fucked up. Depression, anxiety, probably ADHD and OCD, plus abuse and a fairly horrific childhood and adolescence - these things have fucked me up no end, and, contrary to the "happy shit" you see in, say, Pedowood - I can assure you from experience that a lot of people like me DON'T fucking recover, and we never come back from the pits. Some do. Most don't. Which do you really think is the likely end result, for a fuck-up like me..?

Anyway, I think you all know by now that things in Australia are completely fucked. They're getting worse. Continuously. Every fucking day, we lose another "human right", and the totalitarian screws get tighter. I've just learned, today, that thanks to a pronouncement from our state "premier", the equivalent of a US Governor, if I LEAVE this state, say, to go back to my university, I won't be allowed back in, until I'm doubly vaccinated AND test negative to coof. This means that if my grandfather's health declines, which is... Likely, I may not even be able to get back to see him in time, because of the fucking government. I cannot TELL YOU how blackpilling that is, amongst everything else.

Shit here is fucked, and I am so fucking sick of it! Never mind the fact that, without going into too many details, my family pets keep dying, and I keep fucking having to bury them. I spent the last three days burying one. I only adopted him earlier this year. Last I saw, he was healthy and fine. This happens... Every couple of years. And then family members just up and die, too, or someone I know kills themselves. It's... I don't know why the fuck I'm so unlucky, but fuck, death just seems to follow me. If you haven't experienced this yourself, let me tell you - digging a grave for your animals on a regular basis is... Pretty devastating.

Moving on: For the last... While, anger has been what has sustained me. Anger, resentment and hatred. I'm a bitter, jaded person (you would be, too, if you had seen what I have, and experienced what I have), and I fucking detest what my society has become. Clearly, at least "anonymously", I'm very active online, in trying to fight back, and to use that anger... "Constructively". I also use it to motivate exercise, which... Works, but the exercise doesn't... Make the anger go away, at all.

After a while, though, you begin to realise this is a losing battle. Australia is completely fucked. I'm genuinely not sure there is any coming back from this, and I do not think, if I lived much longer, that I would want to do so in this country. It is becoming unrecognisable, and I genuinely fear for the future, here. My own future is gone. That does not matter. But for the country itself... The best outcome is probably Argentina or Chile at their lowest points. Or what, Portugal under Salazar? I seriously don't see an outcome under which Australia stays a democracy, with basic rights for citizens, which is... Scary. And while I have fought back and fought back, pretty hard... I've now realised how futile it is.

My efforts aren't really changing anything. Shit here is sliding, and nothing I do will really change that. But it's more than that. Anger can only sustain you for so long. While my rage can be pretty... Intimidating, I think sadness and loneliness are generally stronger, longer-lasting emotions than anger, and nothing I have done takes that away. So...

I dunno if this is it. I hope the rest of you are able to better "maintain the rage", and fight back in the culture wars in your respective countries. But even if the fight for Australia isn't over; even if there is some hope left for this place - I'm not sure I'll be around to keep on fighting.

I'm pretty done. I've tried. I've fought. I've failed. I just want... Peace, now, and I really... I'm not sure I know of many other ways to find it, unfortunately.


Comments (47)
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rfu12 20 points ago +20 / -0

I feel like you should read Victor Frankls book "Man's Search for Meaning" if you haven't already.

Here is my take on your situation: It's not about maintaining rage and defiance directly. Take things slowly. One thing at a time. And forget about "Australia".. Australia is just a concept. Concepts come and go in the grand scheme of things. What matters is much more direct: You. Your life. Does Australia really matter or does your life matter? Ignoring Australia, has your life been worse recently? (From what you say, absolutely). I think you should live for yourself and not for Australia. Forget about Australia. What can YOU do to improve your life, today and right now? Focus on that. Even if all the paths laid out in front of you lead to hell eventually, you can still go there on your own terms. Live true to yourself and think about how to make your life better. If you're happy and in a good situation, you have a much easier time to make the situation better for someone else. And when you're in a good position to help a lot of people, then you can still think if you want to make a difference for "Australia" or if there are other, more important things you want to do

TentElephant 13 points ago +13 / -0

Since we are doing book recommendations, Evola's Ride the Tiger is about standing above modernity and being a figurative monk of the soul, without actually retreating to a monastery in the middle of nowhere.

Ahaus667 11 points ago +11 / -0

Modern man in search of a soul by jung is also worth a read.

LinkR 19 points ago +19 / -0

My father killed himself in 2017 on Thanksgiving day and when I flew to his apartment to take care of his... actions, I found it broken into and ransacked. His was officially dubbed a suicide, but for all I know he was murdered. I will never really know and anything valuable he may have wanted us to have, like his coin collection were gone.

Then last year I had to put my three legged dog down because he just lost his mind. ran himself to exhaustion and made his own limbs useless. It crushed me.

Last March I moved into my grandparents home to take care of my grandma who decided to quit her chemo for her pancreatic cancer, her old blind dog, and her going senile husband. I was there to take care of her until she passed. The problem was that she had gone under a procedure to extend her life, so that prolonged the process. I had to watch her agonizing decline for about half of a year. On top of that, at some point before her passing I had to make the decision of my own volition to put her dog down, because it was just fucking miserable. It clearly wanted to die, but they were never going to do anything for its quality of life. So that was two back to back deaths, where only one I was prepared for....

ONE FUCKIN WEEK LATER after my grandmother passed, by grandfather suffered a paralyzing stroke. I then had to stick around to care for him, because he now was not going to long long. He passed 2 days ago.

So, I went from a house of 4 living souls (me included) to just me. Alone.

Death is just a part of life, and it's going to seem like a monumental dog pile when you fixate on each and every one. But you just have to accept that it's going to always appear like it's back to back because of how prevalent it is in life. Even if the previous death was 2 years ago. It's still going to feel like it happened just yesterday. Now my biggest problem is dealing with my grandfathers fucking gun obsession. There are fucking nearly 30 in total he had squirreled away in his garage. Also made his own bullets. He was an interesting dude, but there's a literal powder keg I have to deal with now.

edit: Oh, and my brother in law killed himself 8 months ago too, leaving my sister widowed and 4 kids fatherless, though to be honest... he was an unpredictable mess. There was a very real possibility he wanted to hurt them too, but was so drunk he shot himself first instead. Had real anger issues....

bamboozler1 [S] 9 points ago +9 / -0

Dunno what to say, bro. Sounds... Awful. And I'm not going to question any of what you said (apart from: can you put a dog down for being "miserable"..? Were they old or sick? Seems... Couldn't you have adopted it out?). I'm sorry you've had to experience all of that.

On your edit, though: no one is reliant on me. No one. And I have no intention of leaving any debts behind that I can avoid. I wouldn't ever hurt anyone else (that assumption, that people sometimes make, frustrates me immensely, and has... Made my own journey so much harder). If I go, I go. I'm not... The kind of person to take others with me. Though do I wish the people who hurt me "the best", in life? Fuck no. But I hope their own terrible life decisions, and guilt, are enough to haunt them. I doubt very many will actually care what their actions did to me, though. Family, maybe. The rest? Nah, they'll just find it funny, more than anything, I imagine...

LinkR 4 points ago +5 / -1

(apart from: can you put a dog down for being "miserable"..? Were they old or sick? Seems... Couldn't you have adopted it out?)

I know how it sounds. Trust me, what I did was an absolute last resort. I do not ever take such an action lightly.... Dogs that get old and sick tend to behave differently. Like, they will seek ways to wander off or find small enclosed spaces to just hang out in forever. Her dog overnight just seemed to have this switch flipped. She would wander around the house, bumping into things and just generally wander. Finding people to sort of orbit. In her final days she stopped all that. She was seeking nooks to just wedge into. It's hard to describe without seeing it. She had undergone many eye surgeries in the past and was already over 12. Small dog by the way. She was always in pain from it and was definitely going deaf, or possibly was already deaf at that point. She responded to no stimuli besides touch. Being deaf, blind, old, pain from older complications... yeah, she was not living a very comfy life. Top that not with her strange new behavior. I'm very confident she was done with it all. It still bothers me that I did it though.

ZeroPercentCamoIndex 2 points ago +2 / -0

Like you I consider pet euthanasia a last resort. But as you say, it can be a mercy. I've put down a paralysed cat that started purring as the vet put the needle in. From the sounds of it it was a mercy in your dog's case too, although you pretty much already know that.

LinkR 2 points ago +2 / -0

I've put down a paralysed cat that started purring as the vet put the needle in.

Oof, that must have really rough for you. At least it was in a peaceful state of mind from the sound of it. Yeah, I sat with my dog as it happened and literally feeling the life leave is the most soul crushing experience you can feel. I don't know how the vets ever get used to it themselves.

deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
BidenLikesMiners 0 points ago +3 / -3

Should have let her live, even poorly. Its not our choice for those animals.

LinkR 1 point ago +1 / -0

If that's how you see it, that's how you see it. I personally view that passive view as somewhat cowardly. Burring your head in the sand and ignoring the pain of another living being, because you aren't the one that is suffering. Natural death is often and very long and drawn out process. Trust me... I've had a crash course in such things recently.

The_Gay_Deceiver 6 points ago +6 / -0

Not to make light of a serious story but I can take those guns off of you if you don't want em 👀

BigBadBrutus 9 points ago +10 / -1

I wish I could hug you.

Torrent headspace and use it.

I hope more people chime in with suggestions. Let go of the anger, it's hurting you more than helping right now. Just breathe and then step away from here and come back and post again.

But get your head clear first and think less about the short term or middle term right now.

Cry if you need to. Let it out. Let the emotions go through you and realize that circumstances or feelings don't have to be forever. Don't force anything but don't stay permanently in negativity or it will crush you. It may take what seems like an eternity but always remember this too shall pass. So long as you let it. You're the director of this movie.

Don't forget to come back and talk to us.

LinkR 8 points ago +8 / -0

Torrent headspace

What's that?

BigBadBrutus 7 points ago +7 / -0

Simple to follow mindful meditation sessions in mp3 format.

It sounds like he's becoming desperate, and when time is of the essence, I'm a firm believer in doing what needs to be done, asap. Books are too much if you're overwhelmed. And getting one's head in the right mindset is crucial when you're overwhelmed.

Headspace is also an app. The first 10 sessions are free on iOS and Android.

It saved my ass from stupidity a few years back when I felt like I had no control. It cleared my head and calmed me, not just right after, but also for a few days afterwards. I used it for many months when I was spiraling. It bought me time to regain control and felt like a gift from God.

bamboozler1 [S] 3 points ago +3 / -0

I wouldn’t say I’m desperate, per se…

I’ve been on/off suicidal for a decade. This is not an impulsive thing. This is a “Fuck it, I’ve tried, and I’m tired of trying” thing…

Anyway, I appreciate your thoughts, and attempt to help. Would love a hug. Right now, though, I should probably just sleep, and try to feel better after a bit of rest…

bamboozler1 [S] 3 points ago +3 / -0

My guess is that they're referring to the Australian youth mental health organization, Headspace. Their remit is under-25s, and I... Haven't had good experiences with them (they left me high and dry, before I turned 25), but... They have apps and a website and shit.

I'm not a fan, but hey, that's... A jaded person who they hurt, talking, so maybe I'm not so objective. I know they have apps for meditation and "mindfulness" and shit, so if that helps some people? Great.

I've tried that stuff. Just doesn't do it, for me. I'm too... Messed up, perhaps.

BigBadBrutus 4 points ago +4 / -0

I don't advocate for anything that doesn't work, and certainly don't advocate for any entity that associates with your corrupt government, just something that trains your mind to relax even during times of stress.

Whether headspace is or isn't involved with Australia is irrelevant. It's never brought up and I have no idea whether it's true or not. Read my other response.

bamboozler1 [S] 3 points ago +3 / -0

Oh I wasn’t critiquing you. I just don’t like Headspace, who I’m fairly confident developed that app…

But that’s ok. I’m sure they have some good… Ideas. I just… Haven’t had a good time with the organization itself, I suppose.

But if I was more proactive and less arrogant when I was younger, and went to them when I was stably based in the one state/at Uni the first time..? Eh, I would probably have a different opinion on them. I had friends who said they were good/useful… I was just busy imploding on my own, at the time. Because again, I was an arrogant, immature, selfish little shit, and I was scared to trust ANY counselling, including Headspace, because I’d had some terrible experiences with it when I was younger… But that’s a whole other story.

I’m too old for them to even speak to me now, though, which is… Amusing.

But yeah, can’t speak for the app and stuff itself.

BidenLikesMiners 1 point ago +1 / -0

its a heavy metal song from the edgy era of music dumbass ;)

LinkR 1 point ago +1 / -0

I know you're probably calling me a dumbass, which is fair, but lacking the comma implies "dumbass" is a genre of music, which is also just as believable.

HypJii 8 points ago +8 / -0

hey i feel ya, I have OCD and I'm clinically depressed. Contrary to what we're always told, this stuff sticks with us for the rest of our lives--all this bullshit going on just makes things so much worse. Corporate in Pennsylvania thinks it's a great idea to enforce a company-wide (((vax))) mandate, even to my branch all the way in Idaho, so I'm going to be hard pressed to find a other job that pays as much as this one, let alone get a job as an unvaccinated human.

I can't even tell if I've even tried to come up with a solution for the problems I deal with, because the brain fog has clouded my mind for 11 years. I was already pretty blackpilled before I became an adult, but now I struggle every day at work and at home, to do anything. I end up just trying to cope by overeating, consuming media (which isn't bad, it's just the degree to how often i do it), spending money, porn addiction, etc. Fucking sucks because I've been trying for a while to do better for my SO but there's so much fatigue and stress inside that i trick myself into failing again.

I don't think my case is as bad as yours but I can totally empathize with you, and I'm sure you, too, have this feeling of having no control, even with yourself. I sometimes sit and just think about it.

I don't know what I'm doing, I feel like I'm on autopilot and I can't stop

One thing I'm trying to do is that I'm planning on doing a little musical project with my songs. I'm not sure if it'll be an EP or an LP but I'm not going to rush it. Hobbies help, probably. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure if I can offer any help, but I feel you. If you ever get a wild opportunity to move to Idaho you're totally welcome to join--Aussies are 1000000x better than these Calicucks that are ruining the place.

EDIT: forgot to mention that meditation, is probably the most helpful thing ever. DM (can you do that on Win?) if you want to know how I do it. If the govt hasn't banned it, go outside somewhere alone, like a backyard or balcony, or maybe your car. At work, when i get overwhelmed (which is every day), I just go out to my SUV, play some Codeine or Hiroshi Yoshimura, and stare at the sky and plants. I tend to associate with plants, animals, and the planet more than humans so it makes me feel better.

bamboozler1 [S] 7 points ago +7 / -0

I guess there's some irony there in that I accused some of you a while back of being "controlled opposition/demoralisation", after you told people not to break "teh laaaawww", by attending protests, making fake vaxx certificates, etc. But see, the difference here, I suppose, is that I'm not telling you what you should do. I don't really have anymore suggestions. At this point.

I'm just here to say that anger and resentment are no longer enough to keep me going. I've fought my battles. I've tried, really hard. But... When anger is ALL you have, it isn't enough. It isn't enough to overcome everything else. All the other emotions. And when these outcomes that we see now are apparently what the majority of your fellow citizens want, like apparently in Australia? Well, that makes it pretty hard to keep fighting, long term. So it all feels... Fairly fucking futile, to say the least. :-/

FrostedCricketFlakes 13 points ago +13 / -0

For faking vaxx certificates, my issue is that it's a social credit system. You can only fake for a short while before the electronic permission system is implemented. Better to just reject it altogether.

Fully support protesting. It's a fundamental part of any democracy, and any government that suspends it, or only allows those in support of the leadership is not legitimate. They are dictators. The most important victories were not won by complying to everything.

It's also hard to tell how many oppose the government when the media is complicit, and you can't travel far. There are definite demoralization attempts. Your beliefs may be much more common, but getting that out there is difficult. It's a real critical issue that needs to be solved. Even covering and centralizing stories of people who just don't give a shit anymore, about what or who they've lost to the government's actions could likely be important, and harder to censor. Sure the government can threaten, but once someone's lost enough, I don't think government threats matter anymore. That and people likely won't respond well to recordings of the government attempting to silence those they've hurt.

bamboozler1 [S] 4 points ago +4 / -0

Here's a video like what you describe: https://www.instagram.com/tv/CU3SkvQAeDN/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

I intended to put it in a post, here, but it's 4am where I am and I'm tired.

The video is all over Reddit, on all the lefty "call-out" subs, and a couple of better ones, but if I link to those, you-know-who will come and complain...

Feel free to share it around/make a post of it, if you want!

FrostedCricketFlakes 4 points ago +4 / -0

have a good rest

BandageBandolier 2 points ago +2 / -0

To me anger is not a good long-term motivation, it's meant to be a potentially very intense motivation that fades quickly. Trying to sustain it longer than it naturally sticks around feels like a bad idea with potentially harmful unintended consequences. Like lifting with bad form, just because it gets the job done right now doesn't mean it won't bite you in the ass later, even if it might take you a year or two to notice. If you want to fight, fight cold and calculated until shit gets clutch and use a burst of anger to get through it.

I agree with you that going through serious shit can leave permanent negative effects. Small traumas can be good for your body, large traumas will generally leave your body forever weaker or more prone to further injury than if it hadn't happened. I believe the same applies to on the mental side. People who've gone through a shitty enough childhood for external reasons are more likely to become less capable people for internal reasons later. But that isn't the foregone conclusion. Nobody stays a blank slate for long, everyone builds up their own tallies of injuries and strengths, and the only number that really matters is the final sum. Some people come out ahead in the sum of those parts despite a big list of old injuries by cultivating more internal strength than others, deliberately mitigating those old wounds and using that experience to avoid circumstances that could further debilitate them. Fewer people find success from inside the pit than those who never experienced it, but knowing what it took for you to reach the same level as someone who wasn't fucked over, well it can either go to resentment of others or acceptance of yourself and pride, probably a bit of both. A modest home and a small circle of good relationships can be a bigger testament to your personal resilience than a luxury car and executive job are for the guy who didn't have a shit start. Sometimes it's a case of knowing when to put off enjoyment and gamble for more and when to bank what you've got and take some time to appreciate what that much offers until a better opportunity to claw a little higher appears.

As for the loneliness and sadness, I'm not sure I can offer a good yardstick, for me a 2 or 3 good, reliable friends is plenty. I could probably be a pretty happy mountain hermit tbh. But to me some relationships can do more harm than good, if you think your parents are psychos, reduce the influence they have on your life. I won't say the same as those people who're forever telling you to completely cut anyone toxic off because there's always practical reasons that's not possible, especially with family. But build up some walls, create a buffer so their bullshit doesn't bleed through into your other relationships. With the small circle of friends I want, I can be pretty brutal with what kind of baggage puts me off wanting to spend the effort on someone. Sometimes the biggest obstacle to getting a better set of relationships going is the bad ones you're already bringing with you.

Mary911 6 points ago +7 / -1

Are you a believer in God? Where does God fit in your life? It is his decision when you lay down and die; it is not yours. You are his creation, you did not come here by yourself. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Taking your own life is a sin in God's eyes.

Try reaching down deep inside your soul and find the STRENGTH that has always been there. YES, it is still there waiting for you in this time of need. Jesus is your strength. Your body is the temple of God where Jesus dwells. "Come to me all ye who labor and are heavy laden; and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11: 28-30.

If you do not know your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, all you have to do is believe in your heart and accept him there. Speak with your mouth the words and ask in Jesus name for the Lord to forgive you of all your sins. Once you do, you will become a new person, a new being in Christ and you will have everlasting life and everlasting peace.

I beg you to NEVER give up on life and NEVER give up on Jesus. He is your rock, your anchor. He knows what you are going through. We are all in this together and when we stick together, we all are WINNERS. Please join us today by accepting Jesus into your heart and I guarantee you; you will not regret it.

I pray that these words will comfort and guide you onto a path that you will find is the right path. May God bless you and keep you. I along with some friends will be praying for you brother. May God bless you ten times over. Amen.

Assassin47 3 points ago +3 / -0

Just exist. Let go of the things you can't control and improve yourself.

acp_k2win 3 points ago +3 / -0

Focus on yourself.

  1. get enough sleep
  2. eat as healthy as you can on your budget, stop eating crap, more fresh vegetables and meats
  3. exercise, not because you are pissed off and its a socially acceptable form of self harm, but because you are honoring your future self and sacrificing for his sake

If you dont know what routine works for you then start here: warmup: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9Tcj0YK5zM workout: https://stronglifts.com/5x5/ "cooldown" with some heavy bag work - sets of had combos for speed and not for power or kicks for technique if you are trained in those

Establish a routine and stick with it. Consistency is the most important thing.

evilmathmagician 3 points ago +3 / -0

Depression, anxiety, probably ADHD and OCD

Hm. You aren't on psychiatric medications, are you? 99% of the time, this stuff comes from problems you can fix without drugs.

Drugs will also hinder your ability to be self-reliant. Tying into self-reliance is confidence, which I'd wager you could use some more of.

plus abuse and a fairly horrific childhood and adolescence

Here, see, this could be causing all of it. I strongly advise you to talk to someone about it. Not here; not a public place. I had a poor youth, and spent half my life dealing with it. You have to learn some particular things to cope with trauma, and be willing to discard other ideas that block your path. I think it's too much of a burden for a man to bear on his own.

Finding someone trustworthy to open up to is a whole other matter. You say you're in college, right? Most colleges I've checked in on have some form of free counseling - usually operated by psych majors. A good friend is better, but most people don't seem to have friends that good. If they try to put you on drugs, just walk out.

Edit: Ah, sorry, I forgot to mention something important. I'm not sure how the system differs in your country, but I generally advise against telling the truth when a therapist asks if you have thoughts about harming yourself or others. You probably know how much of a hassle it is to be a failed suicider - you'll be made to jump through some hoops, like you're a fuckin' criminal. Best to just lie about that stuff if it's a therapist. Keep them on topic, you're there for you not for them.

Benevolentdictator 4 points ago +4 / -0

I think being an absolutist and telling someone you don't even know "no psychiatric meds ever", especially when they are really struggling, is unhelpful and may make them feel guiltier if they are already taking them.

The first line treatment for depression, anxiety and OCD are SSRIs, whose effectiveness is pretty dismal but also are fairly benign drugs, besides some transient erectile dysfunction and some rare paradoxical worsening of suicidal thoughts. It's reasonable to give a new med 4 weeks to see if you notice any improvement, and if not, it's unlikely to happen.

Psych drugs can't fix or insulate a person from shitty lives, but it can certainly help the symptoms of a clinical condition that arose as a result of it.

Counseling is great in theory but realistically unobtainable in practice. The actual type of psychotherapy proven to be an alternative treatment to medications for most mental health condition is mostly an academic unicorn that doesn't exist in the real world and is unavailable to 99% of the population.

Talking to someone who does "counseling" can be therapeutic, but the term is so nonspecific that the credentials and techniques used by any potential therapist is a crapshoot.

Your advice re: not admitting to any homicidal/suicidal thoughts is probably a good one though, unless one truly wishes to be institutionalized. These magic words can activate certain mandatory procedures depending on the jurisdiction. At the very least, it will derail the session as the therapist's agenda will become focused on exploring how "real" these claims are instead of addressing whatever agenda is important to you.

PostyMcGee 2 points ago +2 / -0

Thank you for posting this, this is the best advice here. Meds rarely work from my experience, but they can help someone get over that initial hump when they do, and once they have some momentum they can take off the water wings and be fine. The suicidal effects are very rare, but after some high profile incidents with kids everyone seems to think they're common. You probably won't have any, or it will be sleepiness or something. they up the does very slowly too, to lessen the effects, but that can also mean it takes awhile to see if it will help, so it can take more than 4 weeks, sometimes it has to build up. Talk therapy is usually a waste of time, but can be an outlet. You often don't need to know what got you where you are, you just need to know how get yourself out of the ditch. Crappy genes and life situations are something a therapist can't really solve unless they're giving you the tools and encouragement to get out of that situation. I don't know what access is like for people in Aussie to therapists, let alone good ones, but it's best not to rely on them, if you can. Cognitive behavioral therapy has been proven to be pretty effective and you can do it in a self-help context with good results. Especially in today's political climate I would be wary of mentioning being suicidal to a therapist because you could be committed (and further traumatized), or if they're really Liberal and think you're rural and might have guns, and are a White male, might think you're a danger to others. Too many people overreact now so they don't get sued. But if someone is suicidal then they should speak out rather then hurt themselves. It's a hard call to make. I'm pretty sure those helplines trace calls too (and aren't necessarily staffed by good, qualified people). There's not really a good way for people with such thoughts to get the help they need without potentially running the risk of an overkill response.

evilmathmagician 2 points ago +2 / -0

I don't think I was being an absolutist, there was an initial statement about how 1% of the time a person really does need the drugs.

I've gone through the wringer on psych drugs, so I don't have a lot of faith in the system. I tended to get effects like brain fog, emotional numbness, and confusion - even with SSRIs. But the upside is usually stability; the pills will calm you down enough to take a step back and re-evaluate your life. Once that is done, the pills shouldn't be needed anymore (if everything goes to shit when the pills stop, you're probably in that 1%).

Bamboozler strikes me as a young guy, so I'm not confident he fully grasps the benefit and necessity of occasionally saying no when he's offered drugs. I'm advocating for him to build a relationship of trust first, anyway; he sounds lonely and it doesn't sound like he has a useful support group in his life. I'm wagering that he'll see more out of that than the direct effect of proper therapy.

What psychiatrists seem to neglect telling patients is that they should stop taking the pills if their condition worsens. They also don't make it clear that psychiatry is not an exact science.

The actual type of psychotherapy proven to be an alternative treatment to medications for most mental health condition is mostly an academic unicorn that doesn't exist in the real world and is unavailable to 99% of the population.

Yeah, I get what you're saying. I've had enough exposure to various forms of therapy to know most of it's not exactly what's advertised. But over the years, I realized that I felt better simply from talking about my problems and having anyone listen. I was basically renting a friend because my own friends didn't care to listen to my problems. Even if it sounds pathetic, I think it isn't a rare situation, so I'm taking the leap and pointing people to that because it's a lot more attainable and understandable than wishing some guy is gonna have the perfect thing to say to you that makes everything click.

And god help anyone that ends up with an "alternative" therapist, I ask every new therapist I get what their specialty is ever since I had a fucking dance therapist assigned to me.

MetalGearMk4 3 points ago +3 / -0

You just gotta laugh at how dumb everything has become and why the fuck are your pets dying so fast are you poisoning them or something

bamboozler1 [S] 6 points ago +6 / -0

Re the pets, it’s like… A hobby farm. These aren’t dogs. In this case, it was a sheep. Still shouldn’t be dying though… He was like, two years old…

But yeah, ha, I’m not poisoning them. Genuinely concerned my parents might be, though, from their reaction…

My mother laughed when my cat died, and pretty much laughed after I buried the sheep. It’s… Well let’s just say it didn’t help. Yeah…

I have psycho parents. Same parents once laughed after deliberately not informing me a family friend had died, so I would miss the funeral (same time as the cat death as I outlined above. I was living interstate.)… The daughter still hasn’t forgiven me for that.

Though if I had found they had deliberately poisoned my pets? I assure you, I wouldn’t let that one pass, “lol”… 😑

amymulls17 2 points ago +2 / -0

I’m gonna pray for you, so hard🥰 and I don’t know you but I LOVE you... the best is yet to come. Hold on❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

BandageBandolier 1 point ago +1 / -0

This is borderline satirical. I mean it's sweet and all if you're actually trying to be sincere, but from a brand new poster especially it's pretty close to a "thoughts and prayers" meme joke.

amymulls17 1 point ago +1 / -0

If you had an inkling of the place in my life I’m at, you’d realize exactly what that “satire” reps🤨 The power of “thoughts n prayers” if wielded by the right one👍 I promise you, it’s no joke. 🤭🙏

amymulls17 1 point ago +1 / -0

And I’m not brand new😚

BandageBandolier 2 points ago +2 / -0

Um, the site puts a handshake next to your username when you're a new account. You'll notice that after a while it goes away.

amymulls17 1 point ago +1 / -0

I have to make new accounts for some reason 🤨 I’m not really new, it just looks like it

deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
ChaCha-2 2 points ago +2 / -0

Some of what you experienced, I have too. Strange I was just thinking about them yesterday.

RE bad childhood. Me too. I've come to realize that I was not the only one, and even though there are many, many more children experiencing much worse than you or I as we are still living, they are not.

Then we grow up and some things are just too hard to handle. I think that's where the hatred comes in. This is something you have to control. I have family members who truly hate everyone and everything. They fight, yell, seek revenge but you know what, they end up hurting themselves more. The hatred overtakes any logic and they screw themselves. But they hate so much they are not even aware what they are doing to themselves. I distance myself from anyone who is so hateful. I imagine myself a fly on the wall watching those hateful people sink further and further. You and I cannot be taken over by hatred.

All that is happening in Australia is or will happen everywhere. That is all evil showing us his ugly head. We can and should fight back to a degree but can't take over for the whole world. I would suggest you switch to survival mode. That gives you a goal, keeps you busy, and gives you hope.

The 1 thing you didnt mention is your faith. This is a time when we really need God. Find a peaceful space and an hour every day to either read the bible, pray, take up a patron saint. Catholics find tremendous peace in adoration.

IN SUMMARY: Forgive and forget the past. Its over and done with, nothing you can do about it. Let it go.

Work on yourself. Your attitude. Change all your vices into virtues. Try something for charity.

Dont get so pissed or frustrated over the evils in governments. There is only so much you can do. Its just too big for 1 person. Try to prepare for the changes in the world but be sure you connect with God and ask His help and guidance. You are not alone.

PostyMcGee 1 point ago +1 / -0

I'm really sorry for your loses and hard life. No one should have to endure abuse. Losing animals is really, really hard. Men hate to admit to crying but I've had strangers, grown men admit to crying over lost animals. It's tough, don't push yourself to "get over it", or chastise yourself for being depressed. but also realize you are depressed and that this isn't your "true" mood, even if you suffered fro major depression to begin with. You can get out of depression with work. I know it's not easy, and when you are depressed your depression works against you, but it can be done. People often relapse, but still get out of it again. It becomes the rarity not the standard. And even when depressed I'm sure you have moments when you are happy, even if just a brief thing like listening to a song you like. Now for the OCD, anxiety and depression, you can try cognitive behavioral therapy on your own. This is the most effective treatment for those things, barring them being cause by some underlying medical issue. I can recommend the book "Brainlock" on OCD, "Feeling Good" by David Burns for mood and "Mind over Mood" by Padesky" for depression, and "The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook" by Bourne for anxiety. You may be able to get these through your library online or in person if you can't buy them. But there are also similar books and Youtube videos online that give you the ins and outs of cognitive behavioral therapy and print outs of worksheets. With time it can definitely get better. Medication can help get you over the hump, sometimes, assuming you find the right one. But exercise has also been shown to help as much as most medications. Meditation is good too. You don't have to stay angry. If stuff like this is upsetting you, political stuff I mean, then stop visiting such sites until you feel better, or even after. You do not have to "stay angry". You can accept that there is evil in the world, always will be, and just do your best not to contribute to it, while living a life that will make you happy. i know things are bad in Australia, but you guys have a lot of land you can escape to yet. The goal is to demoralize you and make you quit. Just enduring is enough. But even if you were the last Conservative on earth, just finding your own inner joy, at nature, at the past, with God, that would be enough too. I do recommend you try reading the Bible, as I believe it to be true, but I don't know if proselytizing to you might hinder you from taking my other advice. Also, cut your abusive family out if you can, and any other abuser. There's also techniques for dealing with such, grey rock I think if they're narcissists, but you have to take care of yourself, you do not owe abusers anything. Might I also recommend indulging what hobbies you can, or finding a new one you can do inside, particularly art. Journaling is helpful too. It takes time though, give yourself time. You'll recover from this, have another furry friend one day, and find a job you enjoy. not going back to school might be a blessing, you find something you like better without having to do the brainwashing. Wishing you the best, truly.

BidenLikesMiners -2 points ago +3 / -5

Stop being a cuck. the elites in australia want you demoralied, that will make it a lot easier when the chinese come in to try and take over your land. dont fall to the disinformation, anon, become a citizen journalist and show the world what is happening in australia, and in a few years you'll be a folk hero. Be like Ned. Not like the premier who sucked the cock of china, and sold out your nation.

PostyMcGee 4 points ago +4 / -0

Someone dealing with depression and loss isn't a cuck. Don't kick people when they're down, that rarely motivates them, usually makes it worse.