Dictator does not immediately mean totalitarian, you made that assumption yourself. It simply means full control, the one who dictates. That does not mean that they will dictate everything, only what they see as necessary.

The way I see it is that individual rulers are good for drastic change, when change is needed. And democracies and other bureaucracies are good at preventing change, when change is not needed.

The important question is "Do we need change now?" and change is not always good, so in order to get good change you must have good people in power.