Tolerance as a virtue generally implies self-restraint where appropriate. For example, if someone says something that pisses you off, you tolerate it to the extent that you don't chimp out and murder them over it. Or if you have children or family members that get on your nerves, you tolerate them rather than cutting them off or lashing out over petty matters.

There isn't really any need to redefine the word. Tolerance in its original meaning was already perfectly sensible