You just can't make this up..
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Men, if you don't socialize, process emotions and recreate in the same ways that women do, that means you're doing it wrong. If your safe spaces don't look exactly like women's safe spaces so that women can feel safe there, then they're not really safe spaces and you shouldn't have them. If you don't interact with the world and with each other 100% of the time in a way that I can relate to, then obviously there's something wrong with you.
lol.. yep..
"Talk like a fag and make your shit all retarded."
"And if you do we can be friends! But . . . just friends, OK?"
"And by 'friends,' I mean I'm going to forever dangle the possibility that I'll have a more serious relationship with you, or at least sleep with you, as long as you keep doing things for ME. I'm not actually going to ever treat you like a real friend; I'm not going to do fun stuff with you, do any favors for you, or help you out of a jam. I really don't give a shit about you and I never will, but hey, maybe one day, you'll make a good ATM for me."