I feel like one party might be getting a slightly better deal here, while that same party is acting incredibly entitled.

Here's the sort of ironic part...I have no inherent issue with the arrangement, if everyone knows what's what.

If he can’t buy me a house I’m not interested. This is the bare minimum...

Like...what are you bringing to this? Sure, you're bringing something, but it's eclipsed by your shitty attitude. Unless you're promising to stick by him in sickness (yes, really) and in health, for better and for worse (yes, really), it's kind of a nonstarter.

It's like that trade meme.

I give you nothing but grief, you give me whatever the fuck I demand.

No, that's not how it works. If you want someone to "buy you a house," use some basic sales(wo)manship, and say what you're offering, you insufferable whore.

Whether you're a man or a woman, no one owes you shit. Offer something, get something. I'm sure as fuck not buying her a house. She can eat shit.