It's also important to get to know your neighbors well. If they live responsibly and think like you, they will be a vital asset. If they sport purple hair and they're telecommuting for work in California while flying a pride flag out front, make sure your dogs scare them.

And make time to go to town hall and PTA meetings...make it clear to everyone emigrating from the cities to rural America that their bullshit is not going to be tolerated, so if they want to stay they'd better learn English, throw away their Satanic literature and put their work boots on.