If only church being soo important to them had any effect on what gives them the nether-tingles (hint: it's not stable, predictable [read: booring], church-going men).

They can't quite put their finger on it, but, like, they're just not feeeling it. That connection, y'know? It's all very rarefied and subtle, not to be compared to the boorish "me want fuck hole" banality which holds sway over every dude-brain. Hence church being so necessary to rectify their base nature, but, geez, where are my tingles?

Mystery abounds. Maybe check the holy book for insights...oh, nevermind, not those parts about submission and obedience. Positively backwards, those are.

Welp, go figure. I'll bet I can tame a rock star, get my tingles and my face covered in frosting with the cake still before my eyes.