My walls of text are to actually explain a response, which doesn't get read, or gets willfully misinterpreted to the point of continuing the discussion moot from people who act in utter bad faith.

It helps that I take absolutely no pleasure in arriving at the worldview I now hold.

People don't have ideologies, ideologies have people. I think you've been conditioned to accept a historical dialectic that will only damage you further, in order to perpetuate itself in your head like a mindworm.