I find this article from the Insider to be totally relevant you guys
(www.insider.com)
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That's just silly.
You have to start as a toast researcher first, contribute something unique to the toast sciences, defend your toast thesis, and work your way up to toast professor.
I'll just use the leftist strategy of trust the experts and claim to be an expert. And they'll believe me. I mean, not many people can operate a 4 slice toaster, after all.