I would agree to a point that men did this to themselves

It depends on how far back you want to look. I would argue that, to weaken society and increase their own power, powerful groups went out of their way to ruin both men and women, and their roles in society. So, yes, men are fucking up. So are women. In that respect, yes, modern people are doing it to themselves. But they're also victims of past manipulations. So it depends on scale if you want to blame men, or women, or the elites, or whoever, for current problems.

Just like with any other group with problems, modern men do share a bunch of the blame. But they were also manipulated to be exactly what they are right now.