Eh, I think you're too late with your satire.

I lament this.

The judge pompously declared that if people did not like this, they should revoke his condition, not his library card.

I feel like this could be a career. Be homeless for a bit in a cushy liberal city then go terrorize people and businesses you don't like - 300,000 smackaroo's after about a month of not showering and frequently peeing your pants. You also get to do these things with both political and legal impunity.