I'm trying to navigate this hellscape of a dating scene- bisexual girl over here, feminist over there... And I can really empathize with them, even though I view the world politically very differently than they do. Thought I might share that view with you all at KIA2.
One suggested I read Roxanne Gay's Bad Feminist, and I opted to at least listen to a summary of the book. And my mind makes connections.
"Reality TV...Rock of Love, relationships defined by flowing alcohol, forced Interactions, vicious conflict, stripper poles..." I don't know about stripper poles, but my brother- Christian, right-wing, 8 years in military+now going to law school- checks all the other boxes. Drinks too much, loves strife and brings it home to his (direct and extended) family, so forceful and insistent on having everything exactly the way he wants, with zero considerations to the wants and needs of others, that on his bookshelf he even has a book titled, "The Little Book on Getting Your Way".
And then..."Rape Culture- Men's Agression and Violence Normalized." I've watched my brother have to apologize to his wife for throwing things... 10 years ago, I watched him punch holes in walls and break down doors in his anger towards me. I've watched him not care for his wife or kids- he got two daughters, but he really wanted a son. He had sex out of wedlock at least once with a girl other than his current wife...But I would guess his actual body count was more than just two. And then, when our father died, he got so drunk he was flirting with other women, as a married man.
And so, I can't help but wonder if it's not """Christian""", right-wing men like my brother driving the feminist movement forward.
I start to see the current political landscape from the lens of men vs. women, with externalizers wrongfully lashing out in anger and impulsively acting on selfish desires, and internalizers, also wrongfully, deeply resenting and seeking vengeance for the harm those externalizers have caused.
And I wonder how we could ever sort out our differences- how to find the third path forward, where, even with greater emotional maturity on the part of both men and women (no externalizing or internalizing), men are seeking wedlock / family / stay-at-home mom's / etc., whereas women are seeking sexual freedom / abortion / homosexuality / one-night stands / etc. How could those differences ever be worked out, without trying to mold others to our liking, without trying to manipulate or control or deceive? (I can imagine someone commenting that women are more malleable... I'm against manipulative, controlling behaviors regardless. Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the like are a scam.)
I'm Christian. And Right-Wing. But I'm not my brother. I don't drink. I haven't been punching holes in walls in fits of rage. I haven't had sex and don't intend to until I get married. I just want to find a wife and start a family.
Where is the path forward, how are Christian, right-wing men to make it through this world, when so many other men also call themselves Christian as they cause destruction and strife and chaos in their wake? Where is the path forward when women have come to hate all that could be good for them- God, men, marriage, family, children, etc.- and love all that will likely be bad for them- abortion, sex out of wedlock, career, LGBT, etc...?
Just a lost soul trying to find his way. Thanks for reading.
were you and your brother raised by a single mother? how many of your teachers in school where men? look around. how many successful male role models do you see that aren't spewing feminist propaganda?
honestly, you seem like a feminist. one of their favorite tactics to avoid responsibility and consequences is Blame The Nearest Man. Which is a summary of your entire post.
That's the number one place I run to when it comes to raising boys. Little to no male influence. I was a weird quiet little anxious kid when I was young. Honestly, I feel like I owe 90% of the reason I'm a functioning person with a life and not drugged up to have one to male influences.
If I were to list out top influences on me as a kid outside of family I remember my dad's boss, my grandfather's friends, some of my dad's friends, etc. that took the time out of their day to take a bit of an interest in the weird little boy. I mean think about it who am I to draw influence from, the female teachers that treated me like a freak or a problem half the time, or the successful male business owner that treated me with respect?
It's part of the reason I put so much effort with the boys in my family. They all have fathers around, but I want them to have other good male influence as well. There are a lot of women and not a ton of men in my family. My own mother will go on about "it's weird" because I'll spend half a day with one the boy that lives in the same town whenever I come to visit her. I've had the argument with her about male influence too, it just pisses her off. Apparently to her I'd have totally been the same person if she was a single mom and it was just women around.