Think about it, when have you ever had a woman actually start a conversation with you unprompted for the past 20 years? On a rare occasion you do get a chatty woman who is pretty outgoing but when it comes to a lot of women they really are full of shit on this point.
Well, a decently attractive woman did do this after divine liturgy a few weeks back and we talk after services now, I'll probably try to see where things go. It's a smaller parish with basically everyone else already married so I was lowkey surprised.
Outside of that, I got the unprompted conversations before I put 70lbs of fat on lol (which, I've lost about 45lbs of so far). I hear things are muuuch better outside the US but here you generally have to follow Rules 1 & 2 and I can personally attest to that after seeing things from both sides.
Agreed, I'd say in general if a man isn't attractive he has to do the lion's share of any engaging and generally should be wary of unprompted active engagement from women.
Eh, depending on my mood I'd probably say even attractive men should be wary of that. I generally think women who actively pursue are either trying to work an angle or have some sort of underlying issue (e.g., BPD). Unsure of whether that says more about me than them or not and I'd be surprised if there's relevant literature on the topic.
Another factor making things confusing is that there really are no cut-and-dry social norms these days. What is an invitation from one is a sexual harassment allegation from another and the young men receive a torrent of conflicting messages complicating an already complex social environment.
The days of a woman "accidentally" dropping a handkerchief in front of the man she's interested in are long dead and gone.
Well, a decently attractive woman did do this after divine liturgy a few weeks back and we talk after services now, I'll probably try to see where things go. It's a smaller parish with basically everyone else already married so I was lowkey surprised.
Outside of that, I got the unprompted conversations before I put 70lbs of fat on lol (which, I've lost about 45lbs of so far). I hear things are muuuch better outside the US but here you generally have to follow Rules 1 & 2 and I can personally attest to that after seeing things from both sides.
Agreed, I'd say in general if a man isn't attractive he has to do the lion's share of any engaging and generally should be wary of unprompted active engagement from women.
Eh, depending on my mood I'd probably say even attractive men should be wary of that. I generally think women who actively pursue are either trying to work an angle or have some sort of underlying issue (e.g., BPD). Unsure of whether that says more about me than them or not and I'd be surprised if there's relevant literature on the topic.
Another factor making things confusing is that there really are no cut-and-dry social norms these days. What is an invitation from one is a sexual harassment allegation from another and the young men receive a torrent of conflicting messages complicating an already complex social environment.
The days of a woman "accidentally" dropping a handkerchief in front of the man she's interested in are long dead and gone.