whereby people who act like psychopaths towards people who are close to them maintain their self-image as "good people" by performing over-the-top empathy to strangers.

No, they maintain their self- and public-image as 'good people' BY being psychopaths towards people who are close to them. That IS the virtue, according to their demented religion.

I don't know. I don't even know how to begin fixing this.

That's because you refuse to recognize that you are the one causing the problem. The fact that you completely ignore reality to create a narrative that pushes your agenda is proof of this.