The movie is good, I enjoyed it a lot more then I thought I would. It was surprising how well Mario is portrayed. He has flaws to overcome but he is resilient and is motivated by wanting to protect his little brother, in the end he becomes a hero and saves everyone. On the other side we have Peach, she is just perfect, does everything good all her life, effortless throws Mario to the ground and makes fun of him being short the first time she meets him, she is loved by everyone and she can fight better then anyone and even saves Mario at least once. She defeats Bowser and fights a good portion of his army on her own and only lost by sheer bad luck. Her saving grace is that she does not act as a mean girl boss and and seems to like Mario.
From a movie point of view Mario should not have mattered since Peach could have defeated everyone anyway and the fact that Mario is allowed to fight Bowser at the end seems extremely forced and more like something Nintendo demanded. Makes no sense for Peach not fighting him since she was stronger and better then Mario.
Even Donkey Kong is a more interesting and better written character then Peach. In fact Peach is the worse written character in the movie. You can remove most of the scenes with Peach and the movie plays about the same, almost like there were 2 story lines, one centered on Peach and one on Mario.
So it just looks like they wanted a girl boss movie but Nintendo said no and demanded Mario to be the hero of the movie so we got this strange mix of great and woke.
It also made me think, the argument I've seen online is "imagine if a girl goes to see Mario and Peach does nothing for the entire movie?". The obvious answer is that there can be a middle ground and the girl have flaws and even allow Mario to save her once or twice and also be a great and powerful character in her own right. But more importantly where was the same argument for Elsa or Brave or most other girl centered cartoons? Even How to train your dragon had to have a strong female character and that was the last good cartoon I remember seeing in a cinema that I liked.
What does this word jumble of retardation even mean? She lost so perfectly she won? That's literally not what happened at all, she was going to lose everything even after freezing Bowser since she lost the ice flower and even if she kept it longer she would still have lost it since it only requires her getting hit once, it was a literal numbers game of how long until that happened as Bowsers troops were still around her and if not that Bowser himself would have broken free. She was literally only stalling for time the entire time and in doing so lost the only power up she had because she couldn't think of a better plan, if not for DK stopping the chains and Mario flying in everyone else would have died.
The part where she gave up is where she gave up. She didn't upon getting told no by the ruler of the Monkey Kingdom that Cranky couldn't just ignore her request. Of course the movie isn't going to go into Peach sitting down to negotiate trade agreements this isn't Star Wars, but she had plenty of time to speak up for herself and she did not. If Mario had time to speak, so did she.
There was no indication throughout the entire movie that she was a better fighter than Mario, as the only fighting move she did up until that point was shoulder throw Mario, which if you actually saw the film was a result of him running up towards her and thinking "Hey this is the princess I need to talk to." He wasn't actively attempting to attack her nor defend against her, just to get to her.
And no it's more likely had Peach fought DK that he would have just fought her more seriously at the start of the fight since DK knows that Princess Peach has lived in their world for some time, while this new guy just got here. It was his arrogance that caused DK to loose because he underestimated Mario's tenacity, something that Peach was shown to not have and even so far as to explicitly state that to be a character trait she lacks because of her praising Mario's ability to not give up, she would not have said anything if she too had that same attitude, therefore she lacked the qualities that allowed Mario to progress and succeed.
He didn't give up after his first job and that led him to Brooklyn to fix the sewers which got him into the Mushroom Kingdom He didn't give up after being told no by palace guards and went to find Princess Peach even while being chased by armed toads. He didn't give up after each failure on the obstacle course and succeeded in a single day which is a far better accomplishment than Peach having lived her memorable life in that land and succeeding on a test designed by TOADS for TOADS, if anything it's not a Peach was better it was Human Beings are superior to Toads. He didn't quit against DK, which won him the Kong Army, not Peach He didn't quit when the Koopa Troopas chased them on the rainbow bridge, he was the one to suggest splitting up, not Peach He didn't quit when he was eaten by the giant fish which DK was ready to do. He didn't quit when he had to fight Bowser. Him not quitting was a trait that won the day, not anything Peach had.
Peach didn't save the day at any point in the story. So wherever your chimp brain came up with, "Oh she's a girl boss" well I wonder what the fuck a girl boss is when Peach never accomplished anything and her greatest feat was simply stalling the wedding and not having a way out because she didn't know Mario and DK were going to come to the rescue. AND even if she did defeat the Koopas and save everyone else, she would never have been able to stop the Bullet Bill from wiping out the Mushroom Kingdom.
I gave you're piss water ramblings a fair take, it was the rantings of a brain damaged subhuman and was dismissed like the garbage it was.
If you want to have actual criticisms of the film, watch the fucking thing because you have gotten so much wrong you clearly didn't see the film and you'll never convince me or anyone else otherwise.
Here are legitimate criticisms of things that the movie ACTUALLY did and not whatever you imagined in your head while jerking off to photos of your kike grandmother
Luigi needed more screen time in the Dark Lands where he would encounter Boos and other frightening things before getting captured and taken to Bowser. This would have worked far better for the purposes of giving him a nemesis in the form of King Boo and could allow Nintendo to seamlessly make a Luigi's Mansion spin-off
Luigi could have been given a role to step up and lead the prisoners against King Bowser because he learned that Mario isn't giving up and he shouldn't as well. It would have been awkward to try and fit that but it could be done.
More should have been done to explain why it was only the Kong's who had an army that could oppose Bowser, considering they were captured quite easily there was no indication outside DK himself that they were capable fighters. Because as it stands they were as effective as the Toads in the Mushroom Kingdom.
It showed on the map other lands, so clearly there were more people than just Kongs, Koopas and Toads.
It still didn't explain how Peach got into the Mushroom Kingdom, because by all the film showed us she entered through the exact same pipe that Mario and Luigi did which would mean, roughly 20 years ago a Baby Peach wondered into the Brooklyn sewer system and was whisked away and no one noticed. Or are their other pipes to the Human world and why was the human world separated from the other worlds. We saw the void that Mario and Luigi fell through, there were clearly other tunnels and it would stand to reason this is Nintendo hinting a Multiverse or sorts just to build their Nintendo Cinematic Universe.
But for fucksake, you Impossible1 clone, get better material and actually watch what you shit on since you're copy pasted responses were tired before the film even came out.
So just do what the Cucknadians up north do when they get burned this badly and take your own life. Just actually end yourself, grab the nearest sharp object and stick it straight into your carotid artery. It benefits the world if more useless trash like you isn't in it.
The film is a 6 out of 10, it's passable and something I could watch again if I had an hour and a half to kill and no interest in anything else at the time, 7 if I had to pick a movie to put on for my niece and I didn't want to hear Let It Go for the hundredth time.
Is it movie of the year, shouldn't be, will it be, probably considering all the garbage Hollyjew is shoving out their crappers. Is it better than any other animated video game movie, yeah, by a lot because it just is a Mario movie.