[r/4chan is not really modded, but has an extremely strict automod that filters the shit out of everything. I have no idea what word is causing this to get filtered, and using different fonts isn't fixing it, so here it is. This is my re-writing of "The Whale"]

The Whale is a movie about a fat man who teaches English online without turning his web cam on. The point of the movie is that he gets triggered by the pizza delivery guy seeing him, so he acts like he cares so much about people being "honest" that he gets himself fired then turns on the cam, his students shit themselves, so he smashes his computer. Then some family shit and he dies.

Imagine how much better the movie would have been if it was about a fat man on 4chan, who spends his time trying to uncover the truth of the world. As the movie progresses, he unlocks each new stage of the big brain meme.

At the same time, after being fired from his job for accidentally referring to a trans coworker as "he", he builds a following on twitch by using a voicechanger to play a cute Vtuber girl with a cute whale hat. His complete understanding of his audience allows him to connect with them in ways no other Vtuber can. His massive success leads him to lead a double life that splits in opposite directions - the morbidly obese 4channer delving into the sources of the banking collapse tracking Soros-funded entities, and the kawaii Vtuber who brings joy to lonely men just like him.

To begin the final act, he learns he only has a short time to live and he needs to get his affairs in order. He struggles to reconcile with family, but in one case his nephew is a simp for his Vtuber persona, and he's able to connect with him in a meaningful and heart-felt way. The camera cuts to show the nephew fapping.

Then, in the penultimate scene, when he is livestreaming to hundreds of thousands of people for his "debut" on a major Vtuber network, his worlds collide, and he turns on his web cam, showing his true self. Before his audience has the time to shit themselves, Kanye West and Nick Fuentez appear on either side of his cam. He launches into a 30 minute tirade against the jews with Kanye laying down a beat and Nick as the hype man. The credits roll as he breaks into German and starts to just recite the collected speeches of Hortler from memory before he finally shits himself and dies.

In a post credits scene, Joe Biden is giving a speech in front of the US capitol on the anniversary of 1/6 denouncing "the Whale" as a "MAGA Republican" when a low, deep rumbling can be heard building in the background. Joe Biden gazes out into the distance "what the hell kidna dog faced pony..." the camera pans out. Tens of thousands of morbidly obese white men wearing whale hats are thundering down the avenues approaching the capitol. This song starts to play. Police with riot shields are trampled underfoot like they weren't even there. the stage and all attendees disappear under the writhing mass, which sweeps into the Capitol like a human tsunami, gutting it. In a wide shot, the Capitol begins to collapse, then another building, then another. The unstoppable force sweeps through DC and the camera fades to black as a panicked newscaster says the whole democrat line of succession was wiped out.