it's showing our restraint and humanity compared to their lack of it.

Literally all cowardice can be framed this way, if you ignore the future consequences of negligence.

Conflict leads to suffering -> "I'm not conflict averse I'm just too compassionate to cause suffering".

But that ignores the fact that conflict with a bad actor can lead to preventing them from causing very much more suffering in the future, so the "minimizing suffering" rationale is bullshit with the barest amount of foresight.

Most modern men know feminism is just malicious, self-serving bullshit now, and that it causes far more injustice and suffering than it helps. That the majority will never attack it is some combination of cowardice and stupidity, both of which are factors that make a man objectively weak.

But you're right that the most effective way to solve the problem now is probably for men to foster an even stronger in-group bias of their own. Most men over 25 have been damaged too long to ever hope to improve their weakness enough to fight effectively on their now, but even cowards will be happy to fight once enough people have their back, and the idiots will be just as likely to start blindly believing and supporting calls for male recompense once enough people keep telling them it's the right thing to do.

Maybe once that happens we'll stop stamping out the will of the next generations of men to believe in themselves and be willing to proactively fight for what they believe in, rather than conditioning them to believe the only suffering that is morally permissable is their own.