I always saw the whole "never raise your voice as we screech and squawk, get in your face, and get in your fucking head" thing as complete psychological manipulation that robs a man of his natural defenses against the more intimate forms of abuse, the kind that you basically cannot count on a woman not to do regardless of whether you are perceived as strong or weak - you almost have to bark, it's nature. There are those who hold the mentality of abundance, or believe whole heartedly in taking the ball and leaving but honest to God, "alimony" doesn't have a "gigachad" ring to it, and it is probably better to put a woman in her place naturally. A bit of a diatribe but it is the wellspring of this issue.

In everyday situations, there are times when you have to be an asshole.

There is a precedent for keeping cool, but sometimes the gordian knot has to be cut or people in general just walk all over you and play their passive aggressive bullshit on tap - the shit takes a toll on a man. It seems where this is going is "being assertive is abuse!", give it about 10 years.