Psychotically cheerful business spin ahead of the looming mass layoffs as quarterly reports and holidays are finished. "You're all now free to pursue your dream of being your own boss!" Tech and media companies aren't exempt this time, mwa hahahaha! - https://archive.ph/jbGBT

SalesForce's dot-com bubble has burst and is unloading properties and workers quickly to save money and stave off the inevitable collapse. - https://archive.ph/mcXjr

WeWork is issuing debt bonds through Japan, desperately using a teacup to remove the water already at their armpits. - https://archive.ph/seNCP

And finally, don't worry your pretty little head. We're not in a recession, it's just a slow-cession decline into burning pit of hot lava, expected to last all year...when it finally gets here, of course. - https://archive.ph/ExEDW