Even without the whole Jewish thing, it’s like “Unearned privilege: the story”…
Autistic human pond slime worms way to the top by pretending to be a genius, spouting technobabble, and knowing the right people… And defrauds large number of people and corporate types in the process…
Impressive? Yeah, whatever. There’s far too many people like this in the world.
“Eat the rich” is a stupid meme, but fuck, if the opportunity came to, uhh, settle the score with people like him, and his weird little circle of “friends” at his compound, I would happily watch, I’ll say that much…
There’s no way the fat freak would even be able to put up any sort of physical fight, against an angry mob or otherwise. So there’s that.
But also, as someone who had some degree of “privilege” (I’m not Jewish, lol, but I do know two Rhodes Scholars), and completely fucking squandered it - I do not deny that I envy the grift.
I'm glad you have the awareness to quell that tendency, anyway. Because I get the whole "conflict avoidance" thing. Doing that myself has cost me a lot. So... Definitely a good thing to "be on top of", where possible, I'll say that much.
You know how I realise I'm not like them, though?
I go to a public place with them. I listen to them spending >50% of the time mocking "the poors" or slagging off either people who pass by, their colleagues, people they know, extended family, my friends, or whoever they feel like. And then I realise "Hmm, I don't do this (anymore). Why would anyone do this??"
So yeah, maybe there's the potential there that I could have become an N. Maybe I had some N tendencies when I was younger, and more immature. But I really don't think I am one, honestly, no.
I have plenty of problems, but I really don't think that is my main pathology, somewhat surprisingly...
I could do with being less of a selfish shit, though, probably. I do admit to that much.
Yeah, maybe. I think about this all the time, honestly. But I'm self-aware enough to, as you say, quell it...
Having looked into this in very extensive detail, though, I actually don't think I am. Because, while genetics plays a part, I would suggest it is largely a learned behaviour. And I have spent my whole life trying not to be like them.
Do I have narcissistic traits? Maybe. But look, if I'm going to "self-diagnose" anything Cluster B, I'm probably arguably closer to "Borderline", than to NPD...
I know for a fact that I don't think like them, anyway. And I've dated at least one narcissist, so... I honestly don't think that I'm like that. Not to any real extent, by comparison, anyway.
But what I actually meant by that comment is that I have, objectively, failed to live up to my potential, and make the most of the opportunities presented to me.
Not because I think I am in any way "unique", nor particularly smart, nor particularly special. But because I grew up with enough "family money", and a private school education, that I should have "made it".
There are various reasons why I didn't, some of which, yes, include mental illness. However when I look at the things my classmates have achieved, or people from the same background younger than me, it's clear how much I have failed. I don't blame anyone else for that (anymore). I accept that it is my responsibility, and fault. But I'm also not going to deny that it is the truth. And I'm honestly not sure how I come back from that, at this point, "narcissistic tendencies" or otherwise.
If I can add one thing to this, it's that being continuously ignored and/or dismissed, while growing up, and having your own parents whispering behind your back (all the time), messes you up really badly...
Might not turn you into a Narc yourself, but like you said, "snivelling cowardice" is not optimal, either...
I only learnt to stand up to authority figures in my twenties... A lot of bad shit happened, before I finally managed to grow enough of a spine to even do that. So yeah...
If the person whose discussion this was with ever finds this (seeing as you deleted it, and I can’t find you now, lol) - I’m sorry for being an over-talkative weirdo… 🤦🏻♂️
Didn’t mean for it to become like that/to completely overwhelm you.
Even without the whole Jewish thing, it’s like “Unearned privilege: the story”…
Autistic human pond slime worms way to the top by pretending to be a genius, spouting technobabble, and knowing the right people… And defrauds large number of people and corporate types in the process…
Impressive? Yeah, whatever. There’s far too many people like this in the world.
“Eat the rich” is a stupid meme, but fuck, if the opportunity came to, uhh, settle the score with people like him, and his weird little circle of “friends” at his compound, I would happily watch, I’ll say that much…
There’s no way the fat freak would even be able to put up any sort of physical fight, against an angry mob or otherwise. So there’s that.
But also, as someone who had some degree of “privilege” (I’m not Jewish, lol, but I do know two Rhodes Scholars), and completely fucking squandered it - I do not deny that I envy the grift.
I'm glad you have the awareness to quell that tendency, anyway. Because I get the whole "conflict avoidance" thing. Doing that myself has cost me a lot. So... Definitely a good thing to "be on top of", where possible, I'll say that much.
You know how I realise I'm not like them, though? I go to a public place with them. I listen to them spending >50% of the time mocking "the poors" or slagging off either people who pass by, their colleagues, people they know, extended family, my friends, or whoever they feel like. And then I realise "Hmm, I don't do this (anymore). Why would anyone do this??"
So yeah, maybe there's the potential there that I could have become an N. Maybe I had some N tendencies when I was younger, and more immature. But I really don't think I am one, honestly, no.
I have plenty of problems, but I really don't think that is my main pathology, somewhat surprisingly...
I could do with being less of a selfish shit, though, probably. I do admit to that much.
Yeah, maybe. I think about this all the time, honestly. But I'm self-aware enough to, as you say, quell it...
Having looked into this in very extensive detail, though, I actually don't think I am. Because, while genetics plays a part, I would suggest it is largely a learned behaviour. And I have spent my whole life trying not to be like them.
Do I have narcissistic traits? Maybe. But look, if I'm going to "self-diagnose" anything Cluster B, I'm probably arguably closer to "Borderline", than to NPD...
I know for a fact that I don't think like them, anyway. And I've dated at least one narcissist, so... I honestly don't think that I'm like that. Not to any real extent, by comparison, anyway.
But what I actually meant by that comment is that I have, objectively, failed to live up to my potential, and make the most of the opportunities presented to me.
Not because I think I am in any way "unique", nor particularly smart, nor particularly special. But because I grew up with enough "family money", and a private school education, that I should have "made it".
There are various reasons why I didn't, some of which, yes, include mental illness. However when I look at the things my classmates have achieved, or people from the same background younger than me, it's clear how much I have failed. I don't blame anyone else for that (anymore). I accept that it is my responsibility, and fault. But I'm also not going to deny that it is the truth. And I'm honestly not sure how I come back from that, at this point, "narcissistic tendencies" or otherwise.
If I can add one thing to this, it's that being continuously ignored and/or dismissed, while growing up, and having your own parents whispering behind your back (all the time), messes you up really badly...
Might not turn you into a Narc yourself, but like you said, "snivelling cowardice" is not optimal, either...
I only learnt to stand up to authority figures in my twenties... A lot of bad shit happened, before I finally managed to grow enough of a spine to even do that. So yeah...
If the person whose discussion this was with ever finds this (seeing as you deleted it, and I can’t find you now, lol) - I’m sorry for being an over-talkative weirdo… 🤦🏻♂️
Didn’t mean for it to become like that/to completely overwhelm you.